Destiny

I appreciate, in some sense, what Joel Osteen is trying to do.  I just think he's got everything wrong.

If you watch Joel Osteen, you might think that God's Kingdom is about you being promoted and made prosperous in every sense of the word.  I'll be frank, I do believe people have destinies in God, but few people reach out and try to obtain their real destiny.  Most people settle for making more money, having a spouse and kids, and basically pursuing the American Dream.  I don't believe God is in that at all.

If God births in you a dream, expect to go the opposite way from which you think you should be headed if the dream is from God.  Joseph dreamed he would be the master and his brothers be his servants, and he was sold into slavery and later unjustly accused of a crime and sent to prison.  David was told he'd be king of Israel, but God didn't mention running around the wilderness hiding from a megalomaniac.  God doesn't like to use the direct route when sending someone to great destiny- he likes to take the long way.  Because to God, the perseverance that is created, the depths of character that are made, are what make the journey worthwhile.  God is into building character, not building worldly wealth.  Sure, to a precious few that might end in worldly wealth, but the people who go through this process develop a profound faith in God and a deep appreciation for God, which the wealth attained in the end pales in comparison towards.  If you have a real destiny in God, expect misery to come your way, followed swiftly by trials and tribulation.  Anyone who will be great in the kingdom of Heaven must first prove themselves through great difficulty and persevere through much pain.  God is into building DEEP people.  People who only want the money, will never see the true destiny that God would have for them.  If all you want is a quick fix, you completely misunderstand the nature of the kingdom of God, and will not see the kind of personal transformation that God would have for you.  For it is depth of character that God longs for, as well as deep faith.  You cannot acquire these things through shortcuts and quick fixes.  Either learn to persevere, or the dream you have is not from God.

Why I Think Overturning Roe V. Wade Might Be A Good Thing

 No, I have not become pro-life.  Please hear me out.

Our country is somewhat apathetic about politics.  When I read https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/16/opinions/roe-v-wade-overturn-conservatives-filipovic/index.html I realized something... we might be on the cusp of real change.  I think... if Roe V. Wade is overturned, many people- people who didn't care about politics, people who just assume government basically does the right thing all the time- will be INFURIATED.  I believe overturning Roe V. Wade could lead to an overhaul of congress, and ultimately an overhaul of the courts.  I think... pro-life people think that overturning Roe V. Wade will reduce the number of abortions, but in the long term it will lead to more democrats being elected and more just laws being enacted, which to me is worth the negative of Roe V. Wade being overturned.  So I say, if it will stir the American people to no longer tolerate a government that doesn't really well represent them, if it dramatically changes the political landscape of our country so that real change can be accomplished in congress, I say "go ahead conservative judges.  I dare you to overturn Roe V. Wade."  Seriously.  This could lead to the kind of revolution in governing that I've been yearning for, for some time.  Ironic that Mitch McConnell's dream could totally blow up in his face.  Ironic that pro-lifers imagine life being so much better if abortion was outlawed.  I think... I think overturning Roe V. Wade could DRAMATICALLY change the political landscape of our country.  And if I'm right, then conservative Supreme Court justices- BRING IT ON.

My word to people who are worried about this change- be energized by it.  Fight for a just government.  It is interesting that we live in a fairly apathetic country- people often don't really care about the laws that get enacted and the decisions that get made, just "assuming" that government has little to no impact in our day-to-day lives.  I'm telling you now that government can and should make a real difference in how lives go, but because of a VERY vocal minority, many good laws are held up in congress and never become law.  We need a real majority to accomplish what needs to be accomplished.  Only way to get that majority?  Getting people fired up enough to vote.  This could do it...  And I hope it does.

Kingdom Centered

A long time ago, someone told me I was going to be rich.  This was many years ago.  I don't know if that word is going to come true or not, but they said it.

My response was immediate:  "But I'm going to be rich towards God, right?"  My focus was on the wealth I would have in Heaven.  I honestly didn't care about having money in this life- what mattered to me was, was I going to be rich towards God?  That's what every believer's heart should be at.

I think, we need to be focused on advancing God's kingdom.  We need to be focused on bringing glory and honor to God, not our own personal advancement.  We need to do the right thing because it brings glory to God and because we'll have treasure in Heaven, not for personal advancement.  God may advance us- I believe God loves his people and desires that we have lives that bring glory to his kingdom, and I know our success tends to give more glory to God than our failures.  That does not mean that we are focused on our own story.  It also doesn't mean that if things aren't going well in your life that that is evidence that you aren't obeying God.  It COULD, but it doesn't have to, so it's shaky at best to look at your circumstances as a verdict on how you are living your life.

If we have sin in our lives, we need to deal with it.  Viewing ourselves as always the victim with no hand in the things that happen can lead to an unhealthy perspective.  I'm convicted as I say this, because it's often unclear to me what my mistake was in certain situations.  Regardless, I agree with the principle- you need to always be asking God for insight into your role in the tragedies that befall you.  If you messed up, you need to go back and apologize and try to make it right.  I don't believe asking God's forgiveness is enough- whenever you can, you need to go back to the person you sinned against and try to make it right.

Also I think it's important to be ever-focused on the real Whys of why you be righteous.  It's not for your personal prosperity.  Your number one reason for being righteous has ALWAYS got to be to bring glory to the Almighty.  Bringing glory to God has to be the focus.  You can't forget that in your midst.  If you need a selfish reason to be righteous, there is one- so that you might have treasure in Heaven.  My hope is that the first reason- bringing glory and honor to the Lord Almighty will be enough, as it should be enough.  I do think treasure in Heaven is real, and I do think some people will be richer than others in Heaven, and we should all aspire to being rich in Heaven.  I just hope my readers would aspire to more than personal advancement when they try to love their enemies and help the needy.  

May God teach my readers to think in Kingdom ways, and to try to be focused on having the right attitude in all situations, because we will be judged for how we conduct ourselves and whether we put God's kingdom first in all things.  To God be the glory!

Why I'm Not A Big Believer In Verbal Evangelism In General

I just watched a video where a pastor or minister said that he thought the reason why people don't talk to prechristians about their faith was because they didn't believe in objective truth.  This may be true for some people, but... I want to dive into my philosophy on verbal evangelism and try to convince you that if you aren't constantly bugging the prechristians in your life about becoming a Christian, you might be OK.

Fascinatingly enough, most Christians are bombarded with the idea of sharing their faith.  Pastors talk about it all the time.  And if done well, it can produce positive change in your friends and the people in your life, drawing them closer to God.  Should it be the focus though?  See, I'm a big believer in the long game.  People get right with God over time.  Hardly anyone goes from being a staunch atheist to a Christian overnight.  It just doesn't happen.  And frankly, prechristians can sense how you feel about them and what your attitude is towards them.  Are they a project to you?  Do you care about them even if they never follow Jesus?  Does the relationship hold value even if the person never chooses to live for God?  Why are you their friend?  

I think, the focus is on being a good friend.  The focus is on loving them where they are, with that love being the kind of love that they would interpret as love.  Sure, if you believe someone is destined for hell, of course you might want to say something at some point.  That's a legitimate sensation you are feeling.  I just... I can't believe that God wanted to fill the world with Amway salesmen, which to me is what evangelism can become if we aren't careful.  I think... a just god will know how to justly deal with an unbelieving world, and will not want us to treat Jesus like a product that we must sell like our own lives depend on it.  If your faith is legit, opportunities to talk about your faith will come from time to time without pushing for it.  It will happen naturally.  And when those opportunities arise, then it is natural to talk about God and Jesus without it being contrived.  And you know what?  If people know how much you love them by how you've treated them in the past, they'll take your words seriously because they know that you really care about them and aren't just looking for an evangelistic notch in your belt.

If there's one thing to take away from this, it's that love, patience, and perseverance win the day through acts of kindness, good listening skills, and empathy that prechristians may not have any sense that they need saving or that there is any hell to eventually worry about.  If we love people where they are at, and not think too heavily about where the relationship is going or whether we can fix them, I think the people in our lives will see the gospel in action, and they'll want what we have.  That is where the kingdom money is at.  Hopefully this will bring peace to you to not focus on the end result of your love towards the prechristians in your life, and instead focus on being a good friend regardless of the result, which is how we as the church will best reach the people in our lives who are looking for something more real than anything they've found so far in their journey.  Love is the key.  If we love people, they will know they are valued by God, and that will draw them closer to God, which is what we should want.  And trust God with the results.  God is working, if only we be conduits of his love so that people will have a good reason to want to know God personally.  And when we're conduits of God's love, The Great Commission is fulfilled naturally, without anyone being an "Amway salesman of Jesus."

Special Olympics

One day, when I was struggling with a sense of failing at life, I had a therapist that said something quite profound, that changes me even today.  He said to think about life like the Special Olympics.

Now... I've never watched the Special Olympics.  But I get the idea of what it is- it's about people who have impediments competing against other people who have impediments to see who can come out on top.  The thing is simple enough.  You know, I don't think anyone who does watch the Special Olympics, who watches the 100 meter dash, yells at the television "But you're not as fast as Usain Bolt!"  

I'll admit, in this post it's me that wants empathy.  I have THREE disabilities- ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder (mild Asperger Syndrome) and Schizo-Effective Disorder.  I don't believe that this is an excuse not to do anything.  At the same time, I do think this means that anyone looking at my life should pause before judging me as not measuring up to whatever standard they think neurotypicals should measure up to.  I'm NOT neurotypical.  What might be a fair standard to everyone else may not be a fair standard to me.  Also, I need to remember this too- I shouldn't judge myself harshly because I don't have my shit quite as well together like other people do.  I believe I'm really trying to make my life work.  I just wish everyone in my life could see that I'm trying and that I'm doing well.  

My hope with this post is that people would learn to judge rightly, or be more reticent about judging what they don't understand.  As I'm trying to say, I don't want to use my disabilities as an excuse not to try to make progress.  I will say this though- I'm ALWAYS making progress.  Today I celebrated my third spring without mania or psychosis.  I've basically come to terms with my mental health issue, and thanks to my most recent hospitalization I have some skills now to help me debug errant thoughts.  I'm in the process of preparing to write a book, and I think I've found a topic I know something about that I will enjoy writing about.  My life is very full, and pretty satisfying.  I'm always trying to take new territory.  I think these are good things and worthy of a modicum of respect.  I know some people who have mental illness don't do anything, or spend all their time playing video games.  I'm not like that.  Maybe that seems like setting the bar too low, but in many ways those people are much closer to being my peers than the neurotypical with the house, the spouse and the career.  I'm not them.  Please remember- I'm doing the best that I can.

Taking Salvation For Granted

Fundamentally, we must understand that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  This means that, to be wise, one must first fear the Lord.

What does that mean, to fear the Lord?  I believe it means that we're always aware of the precarious state we are in, that we are not given any guarantee that life will go our way or that we will inherit Heaven, simply because we prayed a prayer or some such nonsense.

I'm not saying we need to walk on eggshells.  Just a simple understanding that we can't just do exactly what we want to do all the time and in every situation, because we all know that God is judge and he can do what he likes with us.  We must choose to never presume upon God's kindness.  If we do presume upon God's kindness, it is possible that we can begin to believe that we may do whatever we like without worrying about any kind of repercussions, and this is an unhealthy place to be for any follower of God.

Please don't misunderstand me- I'm not espousing any kind of works-based religion here.  It is the condition of your heart that you must be cognizant of, not the status of your works.  Your heart can be hard or soft, and a hard heart is more dangerous than any sin ever could be.  A hard heart will keep you out of the kingdom of God.  A soft heart is pliable in the hands of God, and it's a heart God can move towards compassion and kindness.  Good deeds wrought from a good, soft heart, without the purpose of personal glory but instead desiring to help and aid one's fellow man is a heart destined for the kingdom of Heaven. 

Always remember that Jesus taught several parables about salvation, and none of the parables did it talk at all about accepting Jesus's death and resurrection as being the basis for getting into Heaven.  Instead, Jesus talked about masters who give talents to servants and then leave, coming back much later to see what they have done with the talent.  Or separating the sheep from the goats- judging people based on how they treated the least of these brothers of mine.  Fundamentally, how we respond to God's invitation to really live as emissaries of the kingdom of Heaven is what will demonstrate on Judgment Day that our hearts were soft and that we cared about what Jesus cared about, and therefore we are fit for Heaven.

Grieving

I should grieve.

No, I haven't lost a love one.  I lost my life.

It's true, I didn't commit suicide.  But I lost everything that mattered to me.  My sense of control over how things go, multiple friends, my job, the place I lived... I lost it all.  How did I lose all this you ask?  I went insane.

You know... it should be a simple thing to grieve losing so much.  However, there is no funeral when you lose your life like I did.  There are no cards that say "Sorry for your loss." in reference to losing one's life from having a break from reality.  There is nothing.  I'm just left to try to put my life back together, and I don't know how.

I realize this isn't a feel-good post.  I wish I knew what to tell myself.  "It will get easier."  Well, I suppose that's true, but for the past 12 years I've been somewhat in denial of how much was lost.  You know, before the hospitalization I was friends with a guy I'll call Jim.  That's not his real name, but that's what I'll call him here.  Anyhow, Jim and I were really close.  We were best friends.  Then mental illness hit.  He wouldn't talk to me or have anything to do with me.  My theory is his then girlfriend, who I hear he eventually married, didn't want to be associated with anybody who... "wasn't well."  You know, that really bites.  I lost one of my closest friends because of this illness.  The other stuff I lost was hard, but that was the hardest.

For the past two years and 2.5 months, I've been doing well.  Before that, it was constantly shifting medication, and two trips to the hospital.  Only now I'm realizing I need to grieve.  I don't know how!  I don't know how to let go of my failed existence!  You know, in a very real sense I lost my life because of my obsession with doing what God says.  I hope that that verse "those that lose their life for my sake will find it."  I'd like to find my life again.  In the meantime I would be doing well to grieve the losses I experienced.  It's just so hard...

Media Consumption

What does it mean to consume media that is antithetical to your faith?

I was posed this question.  I was asked if I consumed media that was against my faith.  I think Christians have the wrong idea of what it means.

You can watch videos that are secular.  You absolutely can.  And that's not going to hurt your faith.  Stuff that hurts your faith are stuff with a slant that is antithetical to Kingdom thought.  For example, I wouldn't recommend to any believer that they listen to secular rap music.  Why you say?  Because it very clearly is slanted in an unhealthy way.  

What else is unhealthy?

I would say that it just varies from movie to movie.  For example, the Christopher Nolan Batman movies- I'd totally recommend them.  Batman in those movies is in a lot of ways a picture of Christ.  Yes, it's hard to picture Christ beating up the criminal population of the city, HOWEVER... did you notice that he doesn't generally use guns?  He tries not to kill people.  That's a rule he follows- "No killing.  No guns."  Also, at the end of "The Dark Knight" when Batman says "The Joker must not win.  I can do those things."  He takes the blame for Two-face's crimes!  Who else do we know that basically took the blame for someone else's crimes?  Jesus of course!  There's a lot of positive imagery in the Christopher Nolan Batman series.  I have lots of respect for the thought that went into that series.  So... whether something is antithetical to Christianity is more complex than just "It was made by a secular media company."

You want other movies with Kingdom slants?  How about The Shawshank Redemption?  That one has the kingdom all over it.  It helps that Stephen King is a Christian, who tries a more nuanced approach to sharing his faith than something in your face.  Same thing with "The Green Mile."  There are many movies with Kingdom themes that are not totally obvious.  Even people who aren't believers can make things that are not totally useless or unhelpful.  For example, I just watched Iliza Shlesinger's comedy specials on Netflix, and while I wouldn't recommend children watching that, I would say that there is stuff that can be gleaned about life on earth that you can get from comedies.  There are lots of things like that.  Is EVERYTHING like that?  I don't think so, but for a Christian to refuse to watch something, I think it needs to be for a better reason than "there's swearing in it" or "people are drunk in it or talk of people being drunk is in it."  Just... you want something that will dry you out spiritually?  How about Star Trek? 

Star Trek was written from the slant that their is no God.  Aside from the episodes with Q in it (Q is basically a god), God is written out of the series and Roddenberry is coming from the perspective that in the future, humanity "evolved" such that man didn't need spirituality any more.  You want something to dry you out spiritually and feeling sad?  Star Trek will tend to do that.  I love the Q episodes, by the way, but then Q and Data are the only interesting characters in Star Trek The Next Generation.  My point is- you need to think DEEPLY about what is spiritually enriching and what is actually going to suck the life out of your heart.  A lot of stuff is neutral.  Beware of watching something with an atheistic slant however.  Beware of watching movies that don't try to give you anything useful to chew on or part any wisdom to you.  All the movies I like, all try to give the watcher something to think about.  If all you are being is entertained, beware...

Transgender/Pronouns

First of all, let me say that I don't know what it's like to have the thinking that "I'm something other than what I am."  I don't know what that feels like.  I hope this post doesn't come off as insensitive.

I think... I think it costs Christians very little to acknowledge someone through preferred pronouns.  I know that there are Christians who aren't going to do that, because they feel "if I use the pronouns they like, they'll think I approve and I don't."  The question I have to ask someone who has this mindset is, what are you trying to accomplish and what WILL be accomplished by ignoring their wishes?

I assume what you are trying to accomplish is to somehow get the person involved to realize they are wrong.  I'm going to be frank, believing you are a different gender than what you were born with seems a little akin to stating with certainty you are a poached egg.  This may be offensive to any transgender person who is reading this, but that's how I see it.  But even if someone did come up to me and tell me that they were a poached egg, my first instinct wouldn't be to correct them or try to fix them.  I would say to you that believing you are something different than you are is probably a mental health issue, and I'm pretty sure that just trying to directly fix them is not going to work.  That means that using the pronouns you prefer (their birth pronouns) and trying to directly fix them is going to get you nowhere.  Is that what Jesus taught?  I just don't see Jesus going this route, because Jesus's primary goals were about drawing someone closer to God, and I don't see that correcting people such that you make them mad is drawing them closer to God.

It all comes down to priorities.  We should make a stand when it's worth something.  Sometimes you have to make principled stand because righteousness is on the line.  I don't think it's on the line in this situation.  Yes, it is possible that someone might get the idea that you approve of them being a different gender than they are born with.  Is that really so bad?  They might also get the idea that God loves them.  To me that's far more important than them thinking you don't approve of them saying they are a different gender than they were born with.  I'd rather someone go to Heaven and be surprised that they really were the gender they were born with, than go to hell knowing full well they were the gender they were born with.

We got to keep our priorities straight.  Tough love may be... tempting... but in this case I think it's not necessary or helpful.

Poems I wrote in class, roughly... six years ago

 I realize this is a bit off-topic, and I know that those people who appreciate my writings about faith and such may not like me deviating so much from what I typically share here, but... I wanted to show my facebook friends my poems with the appropriate spacing, so... I thought I would post them here.  The second poem is more on topic, but honestly it isn't as good as the first.  I hope you all enjoy my poetry here.

More Than Just A Board Game

The black and white, checkered eight-by-eight grid is a

brutal

battleground
for those who brawl with their minds.
The cavalier, whose name is flame,
with the face of a mustang

leaps

        OVER

        infantry.
He fights with the passion of a hundred red roses.
The cleric, whose name is iceberg,

dispatches the enemy

like

            a

                        cobra.
His motion is ebony or ivory.
The watchtower, whose name is duty,
is more precious than the priest or the paladin.
Its vision is direct and

unwavering, and its relentless defence of the

monarch

is

unyielding.
The empress, whose name is omnipotent,
her allure is found in knowing the secrets of

the pontiff and the                                                           citadel...
Her

                        fury

                                                      is

a         stream               of                                               lava.
the kaiser, whose name is victory
though fragile and hidden away

through most of the conflict
reveals his fortitude

in

the

end.

His confidence is a Himalayan mountain.
Finally the foot soldier, whose name is army ant
alone not so tough
as a company they are a swarm
destroying all they see

and everything

in

their

way.
All moving in consort 
they are capable of rivalling in beauty

to

a cloudless, starry night on the beach
to those who comprehend the secrets of the sixty-four squares.

The Rocks Cry Out

The Father's love can be so hard to experience

when the mundane surroundings of a cluttered apartment overwhelm.

It can be so hard to feel

since with such affection, life should be sunny days that ring like a bell.

Looking around the room

I see old books, movies,

and other humdrum.

I see no reason at all to be inspired about a deity.

However, if you truly observe

closely you will see the glory

of the Creator. Every redwood, every geyser

noticeably brings the notion that there is no God to a swift demise.

The beauty and brilliance of all that we heed

argues for the defence of a maker, vehemently.

Thoughts on the Value of Human Life

Miss Lady Gaga,

First of all, let me reiterate that I'm sorry you lost your dogs.  I truly am.  As someone whose family has had pets, I know that losing one or more of them is not unimportant.  I'm not trying to tell you you shouldn't grieve their loss, or be sad over what happened.  It matters.

I guess... when you say someone "risked their life" dealing with a man with a gun trying to protect your dogs... do you think that's a good thing?

I'm not saying you shouldn't appreciate the gesture.  But privately, you should admonish this man that no dog is worth a human life.  None.  Not saying they don't have some value- they do- but not anything close to a human life.

As I tried to say, my family has had pets.  Over the course of my life, my parents are now on their third dog, and have had... 5-6 cats.  Every time a pet passes away, we grieve.  It's sad.  However, at no point do we think that losing a pet is equal to, say, my brother or one of my sisters passing.  We never equate that.

A human has much more to give to the world than a dog, or even two dogs.  A human can get married, have kids, and be a source of love to so many people.  Never, should a man or woman be willing to sacrifice their life to save the lives of dogs, even if they knew the person kidnapping the dogs was going to kill the dogs.  Dogs just aren't worth it.

I hope this helps put your loss in perspective.  People lose sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, every day.  Those are much more significant losses, and worth dying to try to prevent.  No dog should have that much value in it's owner's eyes.  Dogs come and go.  People tend to have much more staying power.  No man should give up his life for a dog.  End of subject.  I realize my timing may not be perfect- I'm not sure when to post this.  But... it really bugs me that you think it is cool that a man risked his life trying to save your pooches.  Dogs do matter, but... they most certainly are not worth dying for.

Sincerely,

Sean Zlatnik 

Having Good Deeds Is NOT The Same As Having A Good Heart

Pondering spiritual realities... I'm pressed by the notion that people think they are going to Heaven because they have good deeds.  This is a dangerous thought to ponder.

"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Proverbs 3:34, as is often stated in James 4:6.  The truth is, if you think you deserve Heaven, you could not find a more dangerous place to live.  You can believe you are Heaven-bound, that is fine; but do not think for a moment that you deserve it.

That's the thing.  The people who aren't that righteous fall for the same trap as those who aren't that smart.  The Dunning-Kruger affect, which states that the people who think they are smart often are not the same people who are actually smart, is true for righteousness as well.  The people who ARE righteous, often don't think that highly of how righteous they are, while those that are not righteous, often think they are more righteous than they really are.

The Bible explicitly states that if you do your good deeds so you can tell about them later, that that kind of righteousness is not real righteousness.  We need to be wary of using our good deeds to make a point.  Honestly, I don't like doing it.  It usually means I've gotten into a conversation that isn't healthy.  If you do good deeds to tell about them later, it often means you didn't do the good deed because of love.  Love has to be the only motivating factor for why we do what we do- not so we can win an argument later, not so that we can look good to other people, but purely because there was a need, and we could meet it.  That's really, foundationally, what love is- seeing a need, and meeting it.  We should be wary of speaking of our good deeds, because Jesus warned that people who do that will have their reward, and lose their treasure in Heaven.

The more proud you are, the more oblivious you are of how little love you show.  Love is a challenging thing.  Each of us will stand before God and weighed, both our good deeds and our mishaps, and God will peer into our hearts and evaluate WHY we did what we did, and how what happened in our past impacted us, and whether our hearts were in the correct place, or if we were doing things for the wrong reason, or what.  Only God can truly evaluate what goes on in the human heart.  Only God knows.  If you think your heart might be bad, I recommend asking God to give you a new heart.  He can, and will do so if you humbly ask him for one.  God loves this kind of prayer, and if you ask and believe he can do it, he will do it, and you will have a new reason to do the right thing.  Love is the best reason to do anything.  Love is the bottom line.  Choose love.

The Thought Police

 As a country, the left-hand side of the political spectrum wants to go down the road of firing people who disagree with them.  I am very uncomfortable with this kind of thinking and where it might lead.  Let me elaborate.

As a culture, we are more and more becoming intolerant of opposing views.  If someone espouses insane or even evil things, it seems our culture's reaction is veering off into punishing the person for thinking that way.  Look- people are going to espouse stupid and/or evil stuff.  I don't want the world to go down the path of automatically punishing someone for holding such views.  We think we are doing the world a favor by destroying someone's livelihood or their social status simply because they espouse a belief we abhor.  This kind of thinking does not do us favors.  If you are someone who thinks that the extreme right shouldn't be employed anywhere... think about it another way.  Imagine you were living in the Midwest, and you are prochoice.  You make a tweet about how you feel about abortion, which goes viral.  Suddenly your employer finds out and cans you.  How do you feel?  Because the shoe can always be on the other foot.  We can always find ourselves being the one with an unpopular opinion.  Doesn't mean we need to be canceled.  This is a real problem.

I'm not saying that doing evil should not have consequences.  If you are a business owner, and you don't hire black people because... you racist... that's a problem.  If you actually went to DC on January 6th and participated in the attempted overthrow of our government... see, that's not good because that's a crime and you belong in jail.  If all you did though, was espouse unpopular views on social media... see... companies shouldn't be firing people like that.  At least not for that reason alone.  Just think- some day you may be the one with the opinion that's unpopular with your employer, and you are going to be grateful if your employer doesn't decide to fire you for "badly representing the company."  As a Christian who holds views that could make him unpopular anywhere (reluctantly prochoice, believe homosexual behavior to be a sin, not sure environmental concerns should be made the highest priority over the needs of people, generally complicated views on almost everything) it matters a great deal to me that we as a culture don't treat people who disagree with us as though they are monsters who need to be severely punished.  I hope we can all peacefully coexist.  Should we try to engage with people who disagree with us?  Sure.  If someone is an absolute dick to you online, should you block them?  Sure.  But that doesn't mean we should have the aim of destroying anyone who disagrees with us.  As a Christian, I think we should attempt to connect with those with wild and unhealthy point of views, more than just making sure they get fired and no longer can work.  We shouldn't be the thought police...

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Judging

 We judge people.  We judge people because of the decisions they made.  We judge people because of the words they say.  There are hosts of reasons for why people judge the way they do.

The problem is... we don't have the whole picture.  We don't know all the events a person went through.  Not only that, but we don't know how the experiences a person had affected them.  Everyone is different.  One person's paper cut is another person's crucifixion.  What we experience from the pains that happen is going to be different depending on a person's sensitivity.  Also, everyone is making decisions.  Those decisions are determined by factors that we may or may not know about or understand.  We have a very incomplete picture of what is going on in the world.

Long story short... we should be judicious about judging.  It's okay to label a scoundrel a scoundrel in terms of not associating with someone who seems evil, but... remember that you don't know everything that went into their decisions.  It's okay to believe you would do things differently if you were in their shoes, but be careful about meditating on this idea.  You don't know what that person has been through or how they got that way.  On the day of judgment, we may find out weird things, like... Hitler's father was an asshole or some such, or other extenuating circumstances over the many evil things that happened here on Earth, and learn that things are always more complicated than they seem.  Don't get me wrong- mistakes do get made.  People do do evil things.  Justice will come.  I'm just not totally sure what that will all look like, because many of the decisions we make are influenced by our biology and by circumstances outside our control.  I do think parents that do a rotten job of raising their kids who become monsters may be judged some for not doing what was necessary to raise their child right.  How much of that is poor information, versus negligence, will also be considered.  Judgement is a complex thing.  Be careful what you think about others.  It matters.

Case in point.  I just watched some of an episode of the show House.  For those not familiar, the show is named after the lead character Dr. Gregory House, who likes to diagnose cases that are very difficult.  He gets a case of someone who is on death row and who isn't doing well.  House figures out that this man has a tumor pressing against his pituitary gland, causing bursts of rage.  Is this based on something that is true?  Don't know.  Could be pure fiction.  However, the idea that some of the decisions we make could be traced back to biology... not a unique thought.  Certainly mental illness is caused by biological issues we don't understand.  How is God going to look at crimes that were severely influenced by biology?  Probably a lot differently than how he looks at crimes in general.  The point of this is, we don't have the whole picture.  We don't know everything.  Be careful about saying you are better than someone else.  It's okay to not keep friendships with unhealthy people, but... don't get all high and mighty about the people you don't associate with.  You don't know for sure that you would behave differently had you been in their shoes.  Try to remember everyone is given different blessings and curses, and some people's blessings are better than others, and some people's curses are worse than others.  Life is complicated.  Be wary of looking down your nose at people who are more messed up than you.

What Are We Doing?

 I just had a conversation, and I'm beginning to think that the Christian culture is going down the road of "let Jesus blood cover your sins, and from there basically just do what you think is right."  I'm not sure that's exactly how they would distill their point of view, but... I think there are many Christians that feel this way, and so I want to talk about it.

Jesus taught many things.  Some of those things are hard to reach.  Others are within our grasp if we are willing.  We all have to wrestle with the statements made by the Son of God.  I think... while we are called to care about our neighbor and what they do, our primary concern should always be what we do.  However, having a high standard of righteousness is a virtue that we should all pursue.  Each of us should care about how we conduct ourselves and what our attitudes are about where we are going and what we are doing.  We should care about the teachings of Jesus.  If something Jesus said seems to run contrary to how you want to live your life, then that is a teaching you should meditate on, for it is his teachings we will judged upon, whether we took them seriously or not.  I know there's a tremendous focus within the Christian community on the teachings of Paul- I think focusing on Paul's teachings instead of Jesus's teachings is a mistake.  One of Paul's teachings is on the atonement.  I'm not opposed to the atonement- I think Jesus dying and resurrecting so we can go to Heaven makes sense.  But I'm sure of this- Jesus teachings >>>> Paul's teachings.  We should focus on what Jesus taught as being the focus of our spiritual selves.  That means we should be weary about focusing on how we can do what we want because of grace, and not focused on trying to follow Jesus.  Do I know the correct interpretation for all of Jesus's teachings?  No.  I don't think anyone should cut off their hand because it causes them to sin, or gouge out their eyes because they cause sin.  I think Jesus just wanted people to be passionate about righteousness.  And I agree with the person I was talking to that that starts with yourself.  I just hope the church doesn't become so grace-centric that we lose our sense of having a high standard and really caring about doing the will of God while here on Earth.  If you think Jesus disagrees with a decision you made or a decision you think you are going to make in the future, I think you should ponder that choice.  Or what on Earth are we doing?

Being a Giant

 Everybody chooses what kind of person they are going to be.  Are they going to be willing to make a stand when it counts?  Or are they going to be pushed over?

I think... in life we have to decide what kind of people we are going to be.  There will be situations where we have to make a choice about whether we are going to make a stand.  Sometimes it pays to let things go, but if that is our defining characteristic- that we never make a stand even when it's something worth making a stand for, then we will never get anywhere.  How can you tell the difference?  You need to look at the big picture.  How will making a stand here, or letting this go, affect the kind of person I become?  Is making a stand here going to have a significant role in where I end up?  

I remember a situation, where I was kind of screwed over by the court system of Idaho.  I sent the letter about the ticket, including money for the fine, in a timely manner.  They conveniently misplaced it, and didn't "find" it until I called them about the letter they had sent me about the fact that, according to them, I didn't pay their fine.  They didn't offer to send the letter to the judge or offer to help me.  Now in hindsight, part of me regrets not forcing the issue.  I do have to remember though- as annoying as how it worked out was, the truth is I probably was only going to get $20-$30 back from my fine.  Would that have been worth the fight?  That's hard to say.  I admit it- rather than press them about the crap they were feeding me about how they didn't receive the letter in a timely manner, I just let it go.  And truthfully, I can honestly say there wasn't much at stake there.  That probably wouldn't have been worth the fight.

On the other hand, right now I'm in a fight to get my therapeutic needs met.  The agency I'm working with is trying to tell me I can't see an outside therapist, when the therapist they set me up with was useless.  I think, in this scenario, it is ABSOLUTELY worth the fight, because it is my own mental health that is at stake.  I'm going to fight tooth and nail to get the therapy that I actually need.  I can see that the treasure on the other side of me getting this need met is no small thing and I've got to get this need met.  Can you see the difference?  It's the size and scope of the treasure.  If you can evaluate the end result, you can make an effective decision about whether something is worth fighting for.  If something is worth fighting for though, if you don't fight for it, you are no giant.  You are a coward.  But if you fight for the things that matter, then you can be a giant, which I would hope everyone would aspire to.  Whatever you want in life, you should fight for making your needs get met and for becoming the type of person that people will really be grateful to have around.  Be a giant.  Stand for what is right.  Don't let others push you around when it comes to principles and things that are really important.  Let go of the unimportant things.  Be a giant.

Imagine Being In Someone Else's Shoes

 I think... our culture teaches us to judge others more than try to put ourselves in their shoes.  Sometimes it pays to use a little imagination.  I have an example.

I was on Twitter, and I saw that some woman was complaining bitterly about child sex dolls.  Now am I a fan of child sex dolls?  NO.  Am I glad they exist?  Well, as I'm about to explain, I have decidedly mixed feelings about them.  Anyhow, this person was under the impression that people use child sex dolls as a like a... 'gateway drug" to pedophilia.  Me, I have a hard time imagining a teenage boy with sexual feelings purchasing a child sex doll because they want to see what it's like being a pedophile.  I'm pretty sure very few, if any, child sex predators are born this way.  More likely though, I see a guy who has already gone to prison for sex crimes against minors thinking "I don't want this to happen again.  How do I make sure I never have sex with a minor again?"  And then the lightbulb goes off- what if they had sex with a doll instead?  And then they go and buy a doll, and then when they have the craving for this horrible thing, rather than having sex with a child, which would be horrible, instead they have sex with a doll.  Is this good?  No.  But is it better than the criminal attacking a child?  Decidedly yes!  

When we are thinking about subjects like this, I think we need to try to put ourselves in other's shoes.  I think we're so focused on what something looks like that we forget what it is.  We think a convicted sex offender buying a doll off the internet is horrible, except it prevents actual sex crimes, which would be much worse.  We are worried about teenage girls having abortions, but it prevents teenage girls from raising children that add to the criminal population.  We care about what it looks like, more than what a thing actually is.  I think... we as Christians ought to learn to see the world through other's lenses and really try to put ourselves in other's shoes, or we'll make laws that are unjust and treat people as subhuman.  That was never Jesus's way.  Jesus cared about people where they were at, and tried to work with what people struggled with.  We need to be the same way. 

Favorite Basketball Player

 I realize that this might seem like an odd topic for Christian blog, but... I was watching an interview of Kevin Hart and realized that I'm not sure I have a favorite basketball player.  I think, for me the bar is too high of what I consider respectable.  Let me continue.

Now, Kevin said in his interview "Michael Jordan is my favorite player."  That's great, as far as it goes.  The thing is, for me, if I know anything about a person, their character is at least as important as their ability to perform.  Michael Jordan... he... he's not really cool about how he treats other people.  I watched "The Last Dance," and I learned from that that Jordan was easily offended, and his favorite way to channel that anger was by destroying and humiliating his opponents.  That kind of anger...  he has an unhealthy obsession with destroying anyone that offends him.  Sure, he did it on the court.  But I can't respect someone like that.  He wasn't fun to be around when he was on your team at practice, either.  You are only as good as you treat the people around you.  If you treat the people around you like shit, even if it "works," it's not cool.  I could never look up to someone like that.  That's not a model I want for anyone.  The "win at all costs" model of life stinks.  I can't call Michael Jordan my favorite basketball player, because he sucks as a human being.

So who then?  I've thought about Magic Johnson.  He played for my favorite team, the Lakers.  I think Magic is alright.  Is he my favorite though?  That's hard.  I THINK Magic had sex with women when he was on the road, and while he may not have been married to Cookie at that time, he was in a long term relationship with her.  I don't know.  Maybe my bar is too high for favorite player.  I know I enjoy interviews of Magic, and I know Magic is a classier guy than Michael Jordan.  Maybe it seems a bit unrealistic for me to expect my favorite basketball player to be chaste while in a long-term relationship, but to me... being faithful to the woman you love is like the minimum requirement to being a decent human being.  I want the minimum.  I'm not sure Magic qualifies.

I could pick Kobe.  Kobe was actually caught cheating, and had to admit to it to the press.  The sad part is, I HOPE that it wasn't a rape too- but enough garbage has been thrown at Kobe over what happened in Colorado.  Kobe has gone to meet his maker, and I really hope that meeting went well.  I do have a lot of respect for how hard Kobe worked on his basketball game, and I think Kobe honestly tried to be a man of integrity.  Kobe was intense, but I didn't sense in him quite the degree of ruthlessness that you saw in Michael Jordan.  Honestly though.  When I say I want a FAVORITE basketball player, I want someone I can really respect- someone who not only was a good player and a hard worker, but conducted their personal life beyond reproach and genuinely cared about the needs of others and really was righteous.  Maybe my bar is too high, but... I'm not sure I want Kobe as my favorite player either.  

I have thought of a player that might fit the bill.  AC Green.  AC Green actually has several things going for him- he is a serious Christian who was involved in a church I used to attend.  He even played at Oregon State, my alma mater, and was a Laker.  He stayed a virgin throughout his playing days, so that's commendable.  I haven't seen any interviews of AC to really know what to think.  For some reason, I think he's too easy a pick.  Maybe I should pick him.  I just... I want someone to be my favorite basketball player who I could consider a real-life hero.  Maybe that bar is too high.  I think I want too much.  I want to see a player that is good because they work hard, like Kobe, but also conduct their personal life beyond reproach and really are an awesome person.  Maybe I just can't handle having a favorite basketball player.  We have too few genuine heroes in life I think.  Hopefully, some day, someone will step up and be truly awesome in every way.  Maybe it's too much to ask, but here's hoping.

Existential Threat

I try to be very circumspect in this space.  I try to see other perspectives and to not be an alarmist or someone who is not sensitive to people's feelings.  I'm not out to make people angry here- I'm trying to get people to think, to consider ideas that maybe at first they disagree with... trying to get people to ponder other ways of considering things.  I try to draw people closer to God.  I care about how people think, what people's attitudes are, and where life goes from here for people.  I really do want to sound calm and rational when I write here, and I want others to take me seriously.  At this moment, I'm contemplating saying things that might sound like... like I am an alarmist, or that I am hysterical for no good reason.  I see Trump as an existential threat to our democracy, and I'm not apologizing for seeing him that way. 

I wish I could see this another way.  I watched the documentary #UNFIT, and that makes it clear that Trump is a malignant narcissist- the same disorder that Hitler had.  Now every mental disorder has a spectrum, and I'm not saying Trump is as bad as Hitler- but he does have the same mental disorder.  Trump keeps saying that he has no intention of accepting defeat if he loses.  He says he's not going to allow a peaceful transfer of power, something both Democrats and Republicans should want.  If you think I'm making this up, Google it.  I would normally put a link here to it, but right now politics is taking a severe toll on my mental health, and I need to stay away from the news for awhile.  However, if you don't believe me, you should definitely go see for yourself.

I'm going to admit something to you today.  I'm angry.  I realize some people in my audience may in fact be people who fall in this category, but I've decided that saying what needs to be said is too important to let this slide.  I'm angry at Trump voters for not seeing the existential threat that Trump is and actually voting for Trump.  I can't understand that.  I also know multiple people who aren't voting for Trump or Biden, for various reasons- and I'm going to be frank, I'm angry at them.  I'm angry at them, because Biden is not going to be a bad president if elected.  Not only will you know that he'll step down in four or eight years (I think he verbally committed to only serving one term, but I'm not sure), whenever he either loses or his two terms are up, but... he cares about people.  He has genuine empathy.  Biden is not bad.  It's true that his way of dealing with the abortion issue rubs pro-life people the wrong way- they purely want abortion made illegal, and they don't care for Biden's more nuanced and more compassionate approach to the subject.  That's no excuse.  If it was a normal Republican president, I wouldn't mind someone telling me that they couldn't vote for Biden.  I wouldn't.  This is not a normal Republican president- this is someone who is publicly stating he has no intention of accepting the election result if it goes against him.  This is someone who wants to be a dictator at any cost.  We could either lose the power to vote, or our votes could become meaningless, if Trump can just win regardless of who wins the actual election.  I think this matters.  I think people that can't see the threat that Trump poses to our country are blind- I think they are willfully turning a blind eye on Trump's evil like how he's behaving is just bad and not horrific. 

We can't sit idly by in this situation.  We have to at least try to vote Trump out.  We do have a very serious problem if Trump wins because the Supreme Court hands him the election in spite of the Electoral College not voting his way.  I can't understate how serious this situation is.  Trump must be defeated.  Our very democracy likely hangs in the balance.  Trump is already talking about winning a third term, when he hasn't even won a second term AND the constitution PROHIBITS serving three terms as president.  So he wants to ignore the constitution.  How can you see that and not say "Trump needs to be stopped at any cost?"  I just don't see it.  Trump is an existential threat to our democracy and way of life.  He must be stopped.