Let's start this off with the words of the Tenth Commandment-
Exodus 20:17 (NIV):
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”What exactly does this mean?
I think it means to be careful with the thought "I wish that exact person or thing belonged to me." as in "I wish that woman was my wife." or "I wish that exact car was mine."
I think... I think it's okay to say "I wish I had a wife" or "I wish I had a car." I admit, I believe scripture is a little less clear here. Certainly scripture teaches that we should be content with what we have, but I don't know that general discontent is, in it of itself, a sin.
I also ponder what this means in terms of using porn or masturbating. I've heard many times that using porn is the same thing as lusting... and maybe it is for some people, I'm not sure. For me, using porn is my way of saying "I wish I had a wife" or "I wish to have an orgasm." For me, the woman on screen is not someone I necessarily want to marry... I've never masturbated over an image and thought to myself "I wish that woman was my wife." I mean, I'm just being candid here- I know this might be a bit much for some people, but... this is a prevalent issue within the church, and I struggle with it, so I thought it might make sense to shed light on it. Please don't misunderstand me- I'm not saying that Jesus necessarily condones masturbating to porn, I'm purely saying that I don't think masturbating to porn is necessarily breaking the 10th commandment as laid out in Exodus, and it's even somewhat ambiguous to me whether it breaks the proscription in Matthew about "lusting after your neighbor's wife"... I think it's less clear cut than that. But I digress.
I think we all need to be wary of coveting things that don't belong to us and never can belong to us. If you covet a car that's for sale that's within your price range, go out and buy it. Don't just lust over it. At the same time, it's important that you are careful how you think about possessions of rich people that are beyond your capacity to buy or men or women who are married to other people- it is DEFINITELY outside the bounds of what scripture teaches as OK for you to meditate on wanting to have something you clearly cannot have. In fact, this kind of meditation- even if it's on a man or woman who is single but has rejected you, is dangerous. We all need to be cautious how we handle the things around us we'd like to have but can't have. "May the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord." I think that should be the cry of all our hearts.
Another thing... lust tells God "I don't like your plan for my life. I want a different plan that is outside the scope of what I morally can have." Seriously, God frowns on envying what other people have. It's a real problem. Contentment does matter to God- but it's especially important not to envy what others have, because there may be no real path to having that itch scratched outside of hatching a plan similar to what Jezebel hatched to give Ahab Naboth's vineyard, and that was despicable. No one wants to be like that. God takes theft of other's property so serious that he says "don't even think about it."
If you are curious, here is the whole Naboth's vineyard tale:
Naboth's Vineyard (1 Kings 21:1-24)3 But Naboth replied, “The Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.”
4 So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.
5 His wife Jezebel came in and asked him, “Why are you so sullen? Why won’t you eat?”
6 He answered her, “Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ‘Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.’”
7 Jezebel his wife said, “Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.”
8 So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him. 9 In those letters she wrote:
“Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 10 But seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them bring charges that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death.”
11 So the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city did as Jezebel directed in the letters she had written to them. 12 They proclaimed a fast and seated Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 13 Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, “Naboth has cursed both God and the king.” So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death. 14 Then they sent word to Jezebel: “Naboth has been stoned to death.”
15 As soon as Jezebel heard that Naboth had been stoned to death, she said to Ahab, “Get up and take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you. He is no longer alive, but dead.” 16 When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.
17 Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite: 18 “Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 19 Say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!’”
20 Ahab said to Elijah, “So you have found me, my enemy!”
“I have found you,” he answered, “because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord. 21 He says, ‘I am going to bring disaster on you. I will wipe out your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free.[a] 22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have aroused my anger and have caused Israel to sin.’
23 “And also concerning Jezebel the Lord says: ‘Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of[b] Jezreel.’
24 “Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds will feed on those who die in the country.”
End of text
This passage illustrates just how dangerous covetousness is. Don't be like Ahab. Or David when he coveted Bathsheba. Remember- God has a plan for all of us. It's a good plan. Don't covet what belongs to others. Be satisfied with God's plan for your life. It may seem to you that David got away with coveting Bathsheba, but... after this incident, trouble never left David's house. His consequences for his sin lasted for all the rest of his life. Be very wary of coveting what belongs to your neighbor. That's dangerous stuff.
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