Forgiveness and Ingratitude

Before you read this... I want to warn you.  This post spoils the first episode of the show, The Rehearsal.  It's a good show, and while this post doesn't spoil the whole show (I've only seen the first episode myself), if you have any intention of watching this show and want to really enjoy the first episode, I recommend not reading the rest of this post, going and watching the first episode on HBO Max, and then coming back to read what I had to say.  Now without further ado, here's my entry.

In the first episode (of what is either the first season or the only season of The Rehearsal), you meet a dude who likes to help people deal with tricky situations and in order to accomplish that, he does a lot of rehearsals so as to make sure things go off without a hitch.  He meets a guy who has a secret- he lied to his trivia team about how much education he had received- he told them he had a master's degree when he did not have one.  There was one member of the team that he thought wouldn't take the news well, so the show was all about rehearsing this meeting between this guy with the secret and this woman whom he was going to share the secret with, that he had lied to her and maintained this lie for years, and be coming clean to her.  Now this meeting was at a bar with a trivia contest, and the fact he didn't know the answers to some of the trivia questions was screwing up the rehearsals for the big meeting, so the initial dude who is helping the guy with the secret secretly gives the answers to the questions of the quiz in a way that the secret-keeper won't know that he's been given the answers, so that he'll do well in the trivia and therefore the confession will go well.  

Anyhow, the original confession goes better than expected.  The woman wasn't upset at all, she was good, even though he had lied all these years about having a master's degree, she didn't mind.  However, a very interesting thing happened after this- the helper guy confesses to the guy with the secret that he'd helped the guy succeed in the trivia contest, and the guy gets pretty upset.  He handles it MUCH WORSE than how the woman handled his confession of his secret, and is laid bare as hypocritical.  

I don't even know what to say.  Don't be like this guy.  This is an easy problem to solve- if you were really worried about the unfairness, give the prize back for winning the contest and move on.  He was UNGRATEFUL for the help, he was UNGRATEFUL that the woman took his confession so well... he was an ingrate.  He's worried that the audience of the show would judge him as not being able to answer the questions- instead, the audience of the show judged him as an ingrate.  Seriously... don't be like the secret-keeper in this episode.  If you've been forgiven much, freely forgive.  Remember The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant:

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

End of story

Seriously, don't be the unmerciful servant.  Remember- if people have been gracious to you, be gracious to others.  Right now I'm feeling convicted, because people have been merciful to me sometimes when I'm driving and I'm not always merciful to others... Lord, help us all remember that you've been merciful to us, let us be merciful to those around us.  Let us not be like the guy above, who forgot that he was just forgiven a lot, and should extend the same courtesy to the guy who helped him.  Let us not acquire your wrath by not being merciful to those that sin against us, particularly when they are wise enough to apologize... may we be the righteous servant that extends mercy to those that sin against us.  Help us forgive, as you forgive us.  Amen.

Covetousness and Envy

Let's start this off with the words of the Tenth Commandment-

Exodus 20:17 (NIV):

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

What exactly does this mean?

I think it means to be careful with the thought "I wish that exact person or thing belonged to me." as in "I wish that woman was my wife." or "I wish that exact car was mine."  

I think... I think it's okay to say "I wish I had a wife" or "I wish I had a car."  I admit, I believe scripture is a little less clear here.  Certainly scripture teaches that we should be content with what we have, but I don't know that general discontent is, in it of itself, a sin.

I also ponder what this means in terms of using porn or masturbating.  I've heard many times that using porn is the same thing as lusting... and maybe it is for some people, I'm not sure.  For me, using porn is my way of saying "I wish I had a wife" or "I wish to have an orgasm."  For me, the woman on screen is not someone I necessarily want to marry... I've never masturbated over an image and thought to myself "I wish that woman was my wife."  I mean, I'm just being candid here- I know this might be a bit much for some people, but... this is a prevalent issue within the church, and I struggle with it, so I thought it might make sense to shed light on it.  Please don't misunderstand me- I'm not saying that Jesus necessarily condones masturbating to porn, I'm purely saying that I don't think masturbating to porn is necessarily breaking the 10th commandment as laid out in Exodus, and it's even somewhat ambiguous to me whether it breaks the proscription in Matthew about "lusting after your neighbor's wife"... I think it's less clear cut than that.  But I digress.

I think we all need to be wary of coveting things that don't belong to us and never can belong to us.  If you covet a car that's for sale that's within your price range, go out and buy it.  Don't just lust over it.  At the same time, it's important that you are careful how you think about possessions of rich people that are beyond your capacity to buy or men or women who are married to other people- it is DEFINITELY outside the bounds of what scripture teaches as OK for you to meditate on wanting to have something you clearly cannot have.  In fact, this kind of meditation- even if it's on a man or woman who is single but has rejected you, is dangerous.  We all need to be cautious how we handle the things around us we'd like to have but can't have.  "May the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord."  I think that should be the cry of all our hearts.  

Another thing... lust tells God "I don't like your plan for my life.  I want a different plan that is outside the scope of what I morally can have."  Seriously, God frowns on envying what other people have.  It's a real problem.  Contentment does matter to God- but it's especially important not to envy what others have, because there may be no real path to having that itch scratched outside of hatching a plan similar to what Jezebel hatched to give Ahab Naboth's vineyard, and that was despicable.  No one wants to be like that.  God takes theft of other's property so serious that he says "don't even think about it." 

If you are curious, here is the whole Naboth's vineyard tale:

Naboth's Vineyard (1 Kings 21:1-24) 

21

Some time later there was an incident involving a vineyard belonging to Naboth the Jezreelite. The vineyard was in Jezreel, close to the palace of Ahab king of Samaria. 2 Ahab said to Naboth, “Let me have your vineyard to use for a vegetable garden, since it is close to my palace. In exchange I will give you a better vineyard or, if you prefer, I will pay you whatever it is worth.”

3 But Naboth replied, “The Lord forbid that I should give you the inheritance of my ancestors.”

4 So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my ancestors.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat.

5 His wife Jezebel came in and asked him, “Why are you so sullen? Why won’t you eat?”

6 He answered her, “Because I said to Naboth the Jezreelite, ‘Sell me your vineyard; or if you prefer, I will give you another vineyard in its place.’ But he said, ‘I will not give you my vineyard.’”

7 Jezebel his wife said, “Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I’ll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite.”

8 So she wrote letters in Ahab’s name, placed his seal on them, and sent them to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city with him. 9 In those letters she wrote:


“Proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 10 But seat two scoundrels opposite him and have them bring charges that he has cursed both God and the king. Then take him out and stone him to death.”

11 So the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth’s city did as Jezebel directed in the letters she had written to them. 12 They proclaimed a fast and seated Naboth in a prominent place among the people. 13 Then two scoundrels came and sat opposite him and brought charges against Naboth before the people, saying, “Naboth has cursed both God and the king.” So they took him outside the city and stoned him to death. 14 Then they sent word to Jezebel: “Naboth has been stoned to death.”

15 As soon as Jezebel heard that Naboth had been stoned to death, she said to Ahab, “Get up and take possession of the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite that he refused to sell you. He is no longer alive, but dead.” 16 When Ahab heard that Naboth was dead, he got up and went down to take possession of Naboth’s vineyard.

17 Then the word of the Lord came to Elijah the Tishbite: 18 “Go down to meet Ahab king of Israel, who rules in Samaria. He is now in Naboth’s vineyard, where he has gone to take possession of it. 19 Say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Have you not murdered a man and seized his property?’ Then say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: In the place where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood, dogs will lick up your blood—yes, yours!’”

20 Ahab said to Elijah, “So you have found me, my enemy!”

“I have found you,” he answered, “because you have sold yourself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord. 21 He says, ‘I am going to bring disaster on you. I will wipe out your descendants and cut off from Ahab every last male in Israel—slave or free.[a] 22 I will make your house like that of Jeroboam son of Nebat and that of Baasha son of Ahijah, because you have aroused my anger and have caused Israel to sin.’

23 “And also concerning Jezebel the Lord says: ‘Dogs will devour Jezebel by the wall of[b] Jezreel.’

24 “Dogs will eat those belonging to Ahab who die in the city, and the birds will feed on those who die in the country.”

End of text

This passage illustrates just how dangerous covetousness is. Don't be like Ahab. Or David when he coveted Bathsheba. Remember- God has a plan for all of us. It's a good plan. Don't covet what belongs to others. Be satisfied with God's plan for your life. It may seem to you that David got away with coveting Bathsheba, but... after this incident, trouble never left David's house. His consequences for his sin lasted for all the rest of his life. Be very wary of coveting what belongs to your neighbor. That's dangerous stuff.