For some reason, there are a few songs that speak to me where I'm at right now, and I feel inclined, for reasons that I don't fully comprehend, to share them. It is weird for me, that the songs that I think about most, and have the most meaning to me at this time, are songs that are, as best as I can tell, very secular. I wish I understood better the connection between me and these songs, but I guess it has to do with a sense that I am somehow understood by them. Okay, so here goes.
The first song is Paul Simon's "The Obvious Child." You can watch the video here. I think what I connect with in this song most is the apparent frustration being aired here. I can relate to that frustration, that disappointment with how things have gone, that anger. I also sense some sadness in the song. Since I'm mourning all that I've lost due to my bout with insanity, I can very easily relate to these emotions- I feel the same way. I do resent how certain people have treated me, that certain people have been dishonest with me because they felt I couldn't handle the truth, and that resentment resonates with that song. The chorus "I don't expect to be treated like a fool no more, I don't expect to sleep through the night Some people say a lie is just a lie But I say the cross is in the ballpark Why deny the obvious child?" really hits that hard. It is funny how music connects us to feelings we may not even know how to otherwise articulate. I feel this song expresses my feelings better than I could otherwise express.
Another song that speaks to me is "Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce Springsteen, which can be found here. This song expresses some frustrations that I really connect well with. "There's a joke, it's wild, and it's on me." is a sentiment I can connect with very easily enough. And I definitely feel like I'm dancing in the dark- I feel this phrase is about uncertainty, not sure where life is going, some confusion, yeah there really a range of emotions in this song I can relate to. What I find ironic, is the most popular youtube video for this song, found here, it may sound more like the original cut of the song, but the facial expressions during the song don't match up nearly as well to the emotions of the song. It's like there was a disconnection between himself and the emotions of the song while he was singing it. I like the version I first linked better, even though it goes unnecessarily long at the end, because the facial expressions he made while singing the song lined up better with the emotions of the song.
There is one other song that I relate with, and happily enough the author, who is a believer, his faith is integral to the song, yet it too relates to the sadness and frustration I currently feel. I'm talking about Rich Mullin's "Hold Me Jesus," which can be found here. Sadly, I couldn't find a live video of him just playing this song, which is too bad. One of the coolest things about Rich Mullins is that he never sugar-coated the life of faith in his music. His music often has emotions in it that relate to the harsher realities that the life of faith experiences, which means a lot to me, because that is where I've been my whole life. Nothing has been easy for me. Right now, I feel like I'm in some dark cave that no one quite understands, and few know how to relate to me where I'm at. It is weird, to go from a place of confident knowing, to a state of lostness that I don't know how to describe. I wish I had answers about why what happened happened, but I don't. I really don't know anything, but I do believe that I am loved by God, whatever that means. I may not understand it, and I may reject it some days, but I still believe it is there. I wish putting my life together was a lot easier than it is, but it just isn't. There ought to be answers, but none that I've found. What I find sadest of all, is that even though I am basically myself now (minus the joy and spiritual confidence), people are still avoiding me or even scared of me. I guess you can't do your best immitation of the Tasmanion Devil from Loony Tunes and then expect things to be normal four months later, but that doesn't make things any easier now. Oh well.
I hope this post helps someone. I don't know that I'm necessarily trying to help anyone; hell, I don't even know how to help myself. Nevertheless, maybe someone else will connect with it. Who knows. I've never felt so undone before in my whole life, and if you are in a crisis of epic proportions that is over your head, well, at least you know I have some idea what you might feel like.
Sincerely,
Sean
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Depression
I want to write about my current state of mind. I'll be honest here; I don't know my exact motivation for writing about this, but I do feel that very few people who feel depressed write about it, so I thought I might share where I am at. Maybe it will help someone. Who knows, maybe it will even help me.
My life feels meaningless. It is like I am lost, or more accurately, I lost myself. I feel spiritually dead. I have feelings of wrath I don't know what to do with. I'm lonely. Oh, I'm really lonely. The people I've trusted the most to help me with life, I don't feel I can count on. I've lost my sense of hope. Truthfully, I feel as though I went to the hospital fucked up one way, and left fucked up a different way. What do you do, when you are so isolated? I don't know the answer. Truthfully, I don't know anything. This place I am at, doesn't need shallow encouragement. What it does need, though, I'm not sure. I have a deep yearning to be understood, that I don't think is going to get met any time soon. People are worthless, when it comes to helping this kind of state of mind. I am so angry at God I could spit. I wish I had solutions, but really, all I've got are problems.
I wish I could end this post on a positive note, but somehow, I don't think that would give justice to my feelings, so I'll just say this- thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Sean D. Zlatnik
My life feels meaningless. It is like I am lost, or more accurately, I lost myself. I feel spiritually dead. I have feelings of wrath I don't know what to do with. I'm lonely. Oh, I'm really lonely. The people I've trusted the most to help me with life, I don't feel I can count on. I've lost my sense of hope. Truthfully, I feel as though I went to the hospital fucked up one way, and left fucked up a different way. What do you do, when you are so isolated? I don't know the answer. Truthfully, I don't know anything. This place I am at, doesn't need shallow encouragement. What it does need, though, I'm not sure. I have a deep yearning to be understood, that I don't think is going to get met any time soon. People are worthless, when it comes to helping this kind of state of mind. I am so angry at God I could spit. I wish I had solutions, but really, all I've got are problems.
I wish I could end this post on a positive note, but somehow, I don't think that would give justice to my feelings, so I'll just say this- thanks for listening.
Sincerely,
Sean D. Zlatnik
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Why I Am Stuck Here
Note: All names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.
I feel it might be beneficial for some people to know why it is I am stuck- or better said, why I believe the voice I am hearing is God. I just feel I need to explain this so that people can better understand where I am coming from. I do agree that a lot of the decisions I've made are strange. Some of the decisions I've made, I wonder what the point was. I wouldn't say this is really a defence, though in some ways I suppose it is. I realize I may end up leaving some details out, but when telling a story like this one, you just do the best you can. My biggest reason for believing that God was involved in this, is the divine intelligence required to create the following parables.
First parable-
I believe I've already written about this, but I believe it bears retelling. There are some elements of the story that I left out before that I am going to add, because I feel some things haven't been explained.
The story starts with my being invited to an event at Miranda's house. Miranda herself invited me, which meant a lot to me. At this event, I observed some strange behavior from two other parties, Ellen and Raina. I noticed that Ellen was avoiding me, which I found unsettling, because I had a nice friendship with Ellen and could not grasp why she was avoiding me. During the event Miranda asked me to be quieter, which makes sense because my voice carries very well. I was having a conversation with Raina in which I was whispering in her ear, because Miranda wanted me to be quiet, when Raina said (my guess, in hindsight jokingly) that Miranda was looking at me, indicating annoyance at how loud I was. Thinking Raina was serious, I stopped talking to Raina. Later, when I tried to talk to Raina, it became obvious she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I thought things were friendly- not grasping the romantic undercurrent involved, so I took offense at Raina's unwillingness to talk to me. At the end of the event I observed some strange behavior from Miranda- I told her that I had emailed her, and her response... is difficult to describe here but in my mind's eye it definitely relayed romantic interest. I was stunned. Once before Miranda had acted in a way that conveyed interest; she went very much out of her way to say hello to me- but besides that moment, I had no reason to think Miranda wanted thing one to do with me.
Since up until then, it seemed to me that Miranda was not interested, I was puzzled at why she was acting the way she was. It was a mistery. I think I emailed her a few times for reasons I can't recall now, and she got irritated (may not be the word she would choose, but close enough) and asked me to leave her alone for the time being. There you have one regret of mine- I wish I had honored this request. However, I got it into my head that Miranda was using Ellen and Raina to gather intelligence on me. This was very upsetting to me. The next time she tried to talk to me, I wouldn't talk to her- not that I was completely silent, mind you, but I shut the conversation down as fast as possible. Later that night I regretted doing this. Feeling remorseful about shutting the conversation down, and feeling afraid that my doing so would ruin any chance at a relationship with Miranda, I emailed Miranda saying "I don't know how to love you well right now." This was truthful- on one hand, I thought she might prefer me to not write her, she might prefer that I honor the set boundry. On the other hand, I was afraid she felt jilted, and I didn't want her to feel that way. I was dumbfounded as to what the correct course of action, because I was trying too hard to understand what was going on. From this point, I was emailing both Miranda and Ellen, and somehow I became convinced Miranda was using her friends to gather information about me, and so I wrote a letter with the following gist- Dear Miranda, I know what you did. A just response would be for me to never speak to you again. A merciful response would be to forgive you. A gracious response would be for me to spend all the money in my bank account to buy you these gift cards. I recommend you use them to ask me out, but you may do what you want with them. Sincerely, Sean I guess you could say I was very upset over something that was all in my head. That evening, I discovered that Miranda had removed me from her friend list on facebook. I freaked out, and wrote Ellen about the incoming letter. During this week, I wrote several letters to Ellen. In my mind's eye, I was using Ellen as a filter- I could have written Miranda directly, but since Miranda had removed me from her friend list, I was afraid of upsetting her. At one point, Ellen blocked me from emailing her. I felt that I was supposed to act in faith that Miranda still wanted to be with me. I ordered three dozen roses, to the tune of 161 dollars (after 10% discount). Knowing I had no money to pay for this, I borrowed from my next paycheck all the money needed to pay for the flowers. While I was at Miranda's house delivering the flowers- which was very hard, by the way- Miranda asked me why I didn't honor her set boundry. I was confused by this question, because I thought I had explained it in an email I sent. Either she didn't get the email, or I didn't explain very well. I answered, "I misunderstood you," which to me later meant to be ironic, since I've felt very misunderstood by her, for reasons I can't at this moment recall.
At this point things really get... interesting. Since Miranda asked me such a strange question, I became convinced my written letter to Miranda was intercepted by Ellen for foul purposes instead of good ones. I had told Ellen about the letter hoping she would help Miranda understand where I was coming from, or perhaps intercept it if she thought the letter was going to make things worse. My thinking here was that Miranda should know, between the letter and the emails, that I was upset, and that was definitely the reason why I ignored her set boundry. You could say... I badly overreacted. Anyhow, since I was still a bit upset at Miranda but now really upset with Ellen, I got the idea of doing something like what God did with Moses and Aaron- that I would be "God," this other guy, Jed, would be my prophet, and Miranda would be my people. I would pseudo date and pseudo marry Ellen, and send messages to Miranda through Jed. Yes, I know this thinking is nuts- but the handwritten letter is perfectly written such that it fits within this reality. Isn't that something? That is the first parable. While I'm sure that my thinking was off throughout, somehow it all fits together in this alternate reality.
Second Parable-
God led me on a trip to the coast, then to Salem, then all over the Portland area, then Salem, then home. I must explain in more details, though for you to get the significance of this trip. The first place I stopped at, was the Dairy Queen in Toledo. From there, I walked down a street in the direction of Toledo. I came to a side street that went up a hill. I took the side street, walked up the hill, and back down it. Then, I walked back to my car. From there I drove to Newport, then north to Devil's Punch Bowl. I went for a walk on the beach, and I crossed some streams that were headed to the ocean. God told me to walk on the water of the stream. The first time I refused. The second time (and this case, the water was only half an inch deep) I was willing. I don't know if I succeeded or not- the water was too shallow to tell. My feet didn't get soaked though. After this, I had a few more adventures, including meeting a few people that I think know Miranda, and then I drove to Salem. I thought I was going to meet Miranda in a Chilis, that God had told her to meet me there at 6 PM in Salem. Truth be told, all I knew was I was supposed to go to a Chilis in Salem at 6 PM. I went to Salem, got directions. It turns out there is now no Chilis in Salem. From there I drove all over Portland in Spirit-led driving, trying to find the Chilis- or the place God wanted me to be. Whichever. I waited at multiple restaurants a sum total of about 45 minutes. My driving time, however was extreme- I didn't get home until around 11 PM. Now for the point- I wrote in a blog entry later for Miranda to listen to "Love Song" by Third Day. When I wrote this, it was being led by the Spirit- I had no idea what it meant. However, let's consider the lyrics of the song:
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
Chorus:Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
Repeat chorus
(Bridge)I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
Now, by this point I had basically acted out much of the song. I walked a hill. I walked on water. To be with Miranda, I drove through Salem and all over Portland- which is to say, I would do anything. To be with Miranda, I gave everything- I gave every cent of my bank account, and then I gave the same amount for the flowers from what I was planning to live on in the next pay period. This all before I even realized what I was doing or had any idea that there was rhyme and reason for what I was doing. Now I hope you can see where my stubborn refusal to believe that what is guiding me isn't God. There was just too much behind-the-scenes intelligence driving my behavior. Miranda, if you are reading this, I hope this explains a thing or two that you didn't understand, about why I did what I did. To everyone else- I hope this explains why I'm unyielding to any attempt to convince me that God is not involved in this.
Sincerely,
Sean Douglas Zlatnik
I feel it might be beneficial for some people to know why it is I am stuck- or better said, why I believe the voice I am hearing is God. I just feel I need to explain this so that people can better understand where I am coming from. I do agree that a lot of the decisions I've made are strange. Some of the decisions I've made, I wonder what the point was. I wouldn't say this is really a defence, though in some ways I suppose it is. I realize I may end up leaving some details out, but when telling a story like this one, you just do the best you can. My biggest reason for believing that God was involved in this, is the divine intelligence required to create the following parables.
First parable-
I believe I've already written about this, but I believe it bears retelling. There are some elements of the story that I left out before that I am going to add, because I feel some things haven't been explained.
The story starts with my being invited to an event at Miranda's house. Miranda herself invited me, which meant a lot to me. At this event, I observed some strange behavior from two other parties, Ellen and Raina. I noticed that Ellen was avoiding me, which I found unsettling, because I had a nice friendship with Ellen and could not grasp why she was avoiding me. During the event Miranda asked me to be quieter, which makes sense because my voice carries very well. I was having a conversation with Raina in which I was whispering in her ear, because Miranda wanted me to be quiet, when Raina said (my guess, in hindsight jokingly) that Miranda was looking at me, indicating annoyance at how loud I was. Thinking Raina was serious, I stopped talking to Raina. Later, when I tried to talk to Raina, it became obvious she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I thought things were friendly- not grasping the romantic undercurrent involved, so I took offense at Raina's unwillingness to talk to me. At the end of the event I observed some strange behavior from Miranda- I told her that I had emailed her, and her response... is difficult to describe here but in my mind's eye it definitely relayed romantic interest. I was stunned. Once before Miranda had acted in a way that conveyed interest; she went very much out of her way to say hello to me- but besides that moment, I had no reason to think Miranda wanted thing one to do with me.
Since up until then, it seemed to me that Miranda was not interested, I was puzzled at why she was acting the way she was. It was a mistery. I think I emailed her a few times for reasons I can't recall now, and she got irritated (may not be the word she would choose, but close enough) and asked me to leave her alone for the time being. There you have one regret of mine- I wish I had honored this request. However, I got it into my head that Miranda was using Ellen and Raina to gather intelligence on me. This was very upsetting to me. The next time she tried to talk to me, I wouldn't talk to her- not that I was completely silent, mind you, but I shut the conversation down as fast as possible. Later that night I regretted doing this. Feeling remorseful about shutting the conversation down, and feeling afraid that my doing so would ruin any chance at a relationship with Miranda, I emailed Miranda saying "I don't know how to love you well right now." This was truthful- on one hand, I thought she might prefer me to not write her, she might prefer that I honor the set boundry. On the other hand, I was afraid she felt jilted, and I didn't want her to feel that way. I was dumbfounded as to what the correct course of action, because I was trying too hard to understand what was going on. From this point, I was emailing both Miranda and Ellen, and somehow I became convinced Miranda was using her friends to gather information about me, and so I wrote a letter with the following gist- Dear Miranda, I know what you did. A just response would be for me to never speak to you again. A merciful response would be to forgive you. A gracious response would be for me to spend all the money in my bank account to buy you these gift cards. I recommend you use them to ask me out, but you may do what you want with them. Sincerely, Sean I guess you could say I was very upset over something that was all in my head. That evening, I discovered that Miranda had removed me from her friend list on facebook. I freaked out, and wrote Ellen about the incoming letter. During this week, I wrote several letters to Ellen. In my mind's eye, I was using Ellen as a filter- I could have written Miranda directly, but since Miranda had removed me from her friend list, I was afraid of upsetting her. At one point, Ellen blocked me from emailing her. I felt that I was supposed to act in faith that Miranda still wanted to be with me. I ordered three dozen roses, to the tune of 161 dollars (after 10% discount). Knowing I had no money to pay for this, I borrowed from my next paycheck all the money needed to pay for the flowers. While I was at Miranda's house delivering the flowers- which was very hard, by the way- Miranda asked me why I didn't honor her set boundry. I was confused by this question, because I thought I had explained it in an email I sent. Either she didn't get the email, or I didn't explain very well. I answered, "I misunderstood you," which to me later meant to be ironic, since I've felt very misunderstood by her, for reasons I can't at this moment recall.
At this point things really get... interesting. Since Miranda asked me such a strange question, I became convinced my written letter to Miranda was intercepted by Ellen for foul purposes instead of good ones. I had told Ellen about the letter hoping she would help Miranda understand where I was coming from, or perhaps intercept it if she thought the letter was going to make things worse. My thinking here was that Miranda should know, between the letter and the emails, that I was upset, and that was definitely the reason why I ignored her set boundry. You could say... I badly overreacted. Anyhow, since I was still a bit upset at Miranda but now really upset with Ellen, I got the idea of doing something like what God did with Moses and Aaron- that I would be "God," this other guy, Jed, would be my prophet, and Miranda would be my people. I would pseudo date and pseudo marry Ellen, and send messages to Miranda through Jed. Yes, I know this thinking is nuts- but the handwritten letter is perfectly written such that it fits within this reality. Isn't that something? That is the first parable. While I'm sure that my thinking was off throughout, somehow it all fits together in this alternate reality.
Second Parable-
God led me on a trip to the coast, then to Salem, then all over the Portland area, then Salem, then home. I must explain in more details, though for you to get the significance of this trip. The first place I stopped at, was the Dairy Queen in Toledo. From there, I walked down a street in the direction of Toledo. I came to a side street that went up a hill. I took the side street, walked up the hill, and back down it. Then, I walked back to my car. From there I drove to Newport, then north to Devil's Punch Bowl. I went for a walk on the beach, and I crossed some streams that were headed to the ocean. God told me to walk on the water of the stream. The first time I refused. The second time (and this case, the water was only half an inch deep) I was willing. I don't know if I succeeded or not- the water was too shallow to tell. My feet didn't get soaked though. After this, I had a few more adventures, including meeting a few people that I think know Miranda, and then I drove to Salem. I thought I was going to meet Miranda in a Chilis, that God had told her to meet me there at 6 PM in Salem. Truth be told, all I knew was I was supposed to go to a Chilis in Salem at 6 PM. I went to Salem, got directions. It turns out there is now no Chilis in Salem. From there I drove all over Portland in Spirit-led driving, trying to find the Chilis- or the place God wanted me to be. Whichever. I waited at multiple restaurants a sum total of about 45 minutes. My driving time, however was extreme- I didn't get home until around 11 PM. Now for the point- I wrote in a blog entry later for Miranda to listen to "Love Song" by Third Day. When I wrote this, it was being led by the Spirit- I had no idea what it meant. However, let's consider the lyrics of the song:
I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary
Chorus:Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.
I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
Repeat chorus
(Bridge)I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.
Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.
Now, by this point I had basically acted out much of the song. I walked a hill. I walked on water. To be with Miranda, I drove through Salem and all over Portland- which is to say, I would do anything. To be with Miranda, I gave everything- I gave every cent of my bank account, and then I gave the same amount for the flowers from what I was planning to live on in the next pay period. This all before I even realized what I was doing or had any idea that there was rhyme and reason for what I was doing. Now I hope you can see where my stubborn refusal to believe that what is guiding me isn't God. There was just too much behind-the-scenes intelligence driving my behavior. Miranda, if you are reading this, I hope this explains a thing or two that you didn't understand, about why I did what I did. To everyone else- I hope this explains why I'm unyielding to any attempt to convince me that God is not involved in this.
Sincerely,
Sean Douglas Zlatnik
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Fearless
This season may be my most difficult yet. I've thought of previous seasons as being seasons of great difficulty. Only now do I see I was only in the frying pan, and only now I'm in the fire. Everyone in my life thinks I'm deceived. My prayers for others get answered, but at what cost! The good news, is that I've held on to my hope. I see that God is fashioning a deep character in me through this season, and though I'm at my wits end and I don't see why this has happened, I do see that I am loved. God has been terribly unpredictable to me, which is to say that I've tasted unpredictability and I don't like it. However, I see now that I'm capable of a great deal of ministry in a very short period of time. I also see what genuine love looks like. I've faced many fears and found that I am not subject to them any more. I'm not afraid anymore. I know what perfect love is, and I am now free to be fearless, except of my lord and master, Jesus.
It is funny that people are upset over what I've done, thinking my motives to be selfish. Yet only I know just how tough all my assignments were. None of them were easy. One time of being screamed at, and I lived in fear of being screamed at once more. I still can't believe I had the guts to not be subject to that fear anymore. That was so hard! I took the risk of being verbally destroyed once more, over and over again. For me, that was terrifying. And yet, I know now that even my greatest fears can be overcome by the strength God gives. I'm not afraid anymore.
Regardless of what you all think, I know I'm not a coward. Even if the only thing I accomplished in this was this very thing, I consider this a success. That is all I have to say.
Your friend,
Sean
It is funny that people are upset over what I've done, thinking my motives to be selfish. Yet only I know just how tough all my assignments were. None of them were easy. One time of being screamed at, and I lived in fear of being screamed at once more. I still can't believe I had the guts to not be subject to that fear anymore. That was so hard! I took the risk of being verbally destroyed once more, over and over again. For me, that was terrifying. And yet, I know now that even my greatest fears can be overcome by the strength God gives. I'm not afraid anymore.
Regardless of what you all think, I know I'm not a coward. Even if the only thing I accomplished in this was this very thing, I consider this a success. That is all I have to say.
Your friend,
Sean
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Where I Am Now
This season has been exceptionally difficult. At the moment, I'm trying to piece together what has happened to me, and I'm finding it difficult to make sense of it. It is funny, because on one hand, I'm very confident I've been obedient, while on the other hand, I'm a bit embarrassed about some of the decisions I've made. It is a weird combination.
I realize most of my posts have been teaching posts. Still, this is my primary blog, and I felt I should choose this venue for discussing my feelings about what has happened. I would say the best word to describe how I've been would be to say I was on tilt for God. I'm confident that I was being as obedient as possible, and I'm fairly convinced in the long run that I will be vindicated as being totally obedient. Nevertheless, I look at what I've done with a sense of embarrassment, and I surely hope to never have another season like this most recent one ever again.
Lots of questions hang over me as I try to make heads or tails out of what has happened. It is a weird season, but I think the worst is over.
Sincerely,
Sean
I realize most of my posts have been teaching posts. Still, this is my primary blog, and I felt I should choose this venue for discussing my feelings about what has happened. I would say the best word to describe how I've been would be to say I was on tilt for God. I'm confident that I was being as obedient as possible, and I'm fairly convinced in the long run that I will be vindicated as being totally obedient. Nevertheless, I look at what I've done with a sense of embarrassment, and I surely hope to never have another season like this most recent one ever again.
Lots of questions hang over me as I try to make heads or tails out of what has happened. It is a weird season, but I think the worst is over.
Sincerely,
Sean
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Siblings
Hi!
There is a grave misconception about the nature of cross-gender relations within the body of Christ. Somehow, we have it in our minds, that two people who are of opposite sexes could not live in the same house or spend time together or anything like this without being romantically involved or sexually involved. This is sad.
Do you know how much ministry is lost in the body of Christ because we make decisions based on the fear of our actions being misconstrued, rather than out of love? What if we could treat everyone in the body of Christ like brothers and sisters? Then we could go anywhere, and do almost anything. I say "almost," because obviously sexual intercourse is out of bounds. Obviously, nudity is inappropriate. You wouldn't be naked in the presense of an opposite-gender sibling, would you? Certainly not! Yet, most people wouldn't hesitate spending a night alone with a beloved opposite-gender sibling. Am I right or am I right? I would often have my sisters over for dinner. I'd cook for them, and we would play games together. We had a ball! Once I went on a walk with one of my sisters, and we held hands. We hug often, and I kiss them on the cheek. All of this is appropriate sibling behavior. Why can't we treat siblings in Christ the same way? Why do fear and perceived sexual temptation get in the way of having genuine relationships? We are all bound up inside, and we must be loosed of our fear. For me, this is a great tragedy of the body of Christ- we are more concerned about appearances and the risks of being misunderstood, than we are in developing real relationships with our brothers and sisters in the body. Christ called us to love everyone deeply. Romantic love is a whole other level beyond that for sure. We just have to understand the difference, and have a firm understanding what family love is versus what romantic love is. I think two people can live together, eat together, and even share a bedroom together, and not ever engage in sin. We only think this doesn't work, because we haven't been delivered from fear, doubt, depression, sexual lust, etc. We choose to live in bondage, rather than in freedom. Freedom has no fear. Freedom looks out for the other, rather than trying to get what it wants for itself. We misunderstand the nature of freedom, and shackle ourselves with unnecessary rules, that keep us from understanding the true nature of love. If two people love each other well relative to the existing relationship, there are very few situations that must be avoided entirely. Otherwise, the life of love is a beautiful thing. We need to get off the sidelines, and get in the game.
Sincerely,
Sean
There is a grave misconception about the nature of cross-gender relations within the body of Christ. Somehow, we have it in our minds, that two people who are of opposite sexes could not live in the same house or spend time together or anything like this without being romantically involved or sexually involved. This is sad.
Do you know how much ministry is lost in the body of Christ because we make decisions based on the fear of our actions being misconstrued, rather than out of love? What if we could treat everyone in the body of Christ like brothers and sisters? Then we could go anywhere, and do almost anything. I say "almost," because obviously sexual intercourse is out of bounds. Obviously, nudity is inappropriate. You wouldn't be naked in the presense of an opposite-gender sibling, would you? Certainly not! Yet, most people wouldn't hesitate spending a night alone with a beloved opposite-gender sibling. Am I right or am I right? I would often have my sisters over for dinner. I'd cook for them, and we would play games together. We had a ball! Once I went on a walk with one of my sisters, and we held hands. We hug often, and I kiss them on the cheek. All of this is appropriate sibling behavior. Why can't we treat siblings in Christ the same way? Why do fear and perceived sexual temptation get in the way of having genuine relationships? We are all bound up inside, and we must be loosed of our fear. For me, this is a great tragedy of the body of Christ- we are more concerned about appearances and the risks of being misunderstood, than we are in developing real relationships with our brothers and sisters in the body. Christ called us to love everyone deeply. Romantic love is a whole other level beyond that for sure. We just have to understand the difference, and have a firm understanding what family love is versus what romantic love is. I think two people can live together, eat together, and even share a bedroom together, and not ever engage in sin. We only think this doesn't work, because we haven't been delivered from fear, doubt, depression, sexual lust, etc. We choose to live in bondage, rather than in freedom. Freedom has no fear. Freedom looks out for the other, rather than trying to get what it wants for itself. We misunderstand the nature of freedom, and shackle ourselves with unnecessary rules, that keep us from understanding the true nature of love. If two people love each other well relative to the existing relationship, there are very few situations that must be avoided entirely. Otherwise, the life of love is a beautiful thing. We need to get off the sidelines, and get in the game.
Sincerely,
Sean
Marriage is about Commitment, Not about a Document or a Ceremony
What I’m about to say could easily be misconstrued as a license for sin. However, if you get what I’m saying, you will realize that the opposite is true- more people are living in sin under the license of “marriage” than you think.
You see, Jesus said we should let our yes be yes and our no be no. What this means is, that we are freely giving ourselves truly, and are not holding our end of the bargain for legal reasons. For example, there are people who marry fast over lust and not for both love and commitment. These people are trying to do contractually what really needed to be done through the heart. They don’t get it. They don’t understand that love was never about a document you signed or anything else. Love has always been about commitment. It will always be about commitment, too.
Let us put it this way. Let us say that you are involved with the mobster’s daughter. You are married to her, in whatever way you want to define it. You are truly committed to her if you can be obedient in the following situation. The mob boss finds out you are involved with his daughter. He brings over innumerable guns, and over and over again he puts a gun to your head and asks you to break it off. Each time, you say no, he pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Finally he shows you that all those guns were empty- no bullets in any of the chambers in any of the countless guns he’s used so far. He pulls out one more gun. This time, he shows you the inside of the gun- each chamber has a bullet in it. He puts the gun to your head. “Now I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you in or out of this relationship?” If you would still not back down, you are committed.
See? This is what commitment is. It is the “Come hell or high water, I’m going to be with you” kind of commitment. When Jesus said that people could get a divorce in the case of adultery, he said that for the same reason Moses permitted divorce- because the people were not ready for his kind of agape love. He let them off the hook, because he loved them. The truth is, if divorce is an option, perhaps you weren’t married in the first place, and you’ve been living in sin all this time. On the other hand, there are some couples who never had a marriage ceremony, but they are married in the eyes of God. That is because there is no manipulation involved- their marriage is based on trust and commitment, not selfishness and greed. Love does not use another to meet its own needs. Love trusts. Love perseveres. Love isn’t afraid of abuse, but completely surrenders. Don’t get me wrong- both parties have to have this level of commitment, not just one of them. However, if both parties are totally, 100% committed, there is no sin to have sex without some kind of ceremony. The ceremony is a celebration, not some kind of institutional sex Christmas or something. We have to get what marriage is and isn’t, stop judging by mere appearances and look at the heart.
I know this word is very intense. Please think about it thoroughly before judging it- I feel confident before God I’m right. Look at this, and you will see Jesus in this.
Your friend,
Sean
You see, Jesus said we should let our yes be yes and our no be no. What this means is, that we are freely giving ourselves truly, and are not holding our end of the bargain for legal reasons. For example, there are people who marry fast over lust and not for both love and commitment. These people are trying to do contractually what really needed to be done through the heart. They don’t get it. They don’t understand that love was never about a document you signed or anything else. Love has always been about commitment. It will always be about commitment, too.
Let us put it this way. Let us say that you are involved with the mobster’s daughter. You are married to her, in whatever way you want to define it. You are truly committed to her if you can be obedient in the following situation. The mob boss finds out you are involved with his daughter. He brings over innumerable guns, and over and over again he puts a gun to your head and asks you to break it off. Each time, you say no, he pulls the trigger. Nothing happens. Finally he shows you that all those guns were empty- no bullets in any of the chambers in any of the countless guns he’s used so far. He pulls out one more gun. This time, he shows you the inside of the gun- each chamber has a bullet in it. He puts the gun to your head. “Now I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you in or out of this relationship?” If you would still not back down, you are committed.
See? This is what commitment is. It is the “Come hell or high water, I’m going to be with you” kind of commitment. When Jesus said that people could get a divorce in the case of adultery, he said that for the same reason Moses permitted divorce- because the people were not ready for his kind of agape love. He let them off the hook, because he loved them. The truth is, if divorce is an option, perhaps you weren’t married in the first place, and you’ve been living in sin all this time. On the other hand, there are some couples who never had a marriage ceremony, but they are married in the eyes of God. That is because there is no manipulation involved- their marriage is based on trust and commitment, not selfishness and greed. Love does not use another to meet its own needs. Love trusts. Love perseveres. Love isn’t afraid of abuse, but completely surrenders. Don’t get me wrong- both parties have to have this level of commitment, not just one of them. However, if both parties are totally, 100% committed, there is no sin to have sex without some kind of ceremony. The ceremony is a celebration, not some kind of institutional sex Christmas or something. We have to get what marriage is and isn’t, stop judging by mere appearances and look at the heart.
I know this word is very intense. Please think about it thoroughly before judging it- I feel confident before God I’m right. Look at this, and you will see Jesus in this.
Your friend,
Sean
Monday, April 27, 2009
Love Casts Out Fear
I realize now that I have found the greatest issue in the body of Christ. That issue is singular- the issue of fear. Sadly, so many opportunities to minister to others are lost because of this very simple issue. We're afraid that God won't provide for us. We're afraid people will misunderstand us. We're afraid people will take advantage of us. We're just plain afraid, and it is tragic.
I believe that basically almost all fear, if not fear in its whole entirety, is bad. The God we serve wants and desires that we actually trust him. This trust comes in many forms. We can trust God that he'll provide for our finances. We can trust God with our reputation. We can trust him with the aftermath of misunderstood kindness. God can be trusted. He can be trusted for miracles, if only we'd offer to pray for people. He can be trusted for prophetic words. Daddy, as I call God, longs that we trust him completely. Yet we very often hang out on the sidelines, letting fear keep us out of the game. God wants us in the game! Begin to believe that God is big enough to care for you. Currently, I know someone who Daddy revealed to me has basically stripped themselves of a piece of their identity, for the purpose of reaching the lost. By doing so, this person has largely alienated themselves from the Christian community. I only know about it by divine revelation- and I could be wrong- but I'm fairly certain I'm correct in this conclusion. The purpose of this, is to reach people who could not be reached any other way. I'm telling you now this is what love is. Love sacrifices. Love trusts. Love is not self seeking or keeps record of wrongs. In the church, we talk about love, but love was never meant to live in theory. It must be practiced. True love very often involves taking risks. Sometimes those risks blow up in our faces. Nevertheless, without living out the gospel, we will never truly see what Daddy is really like. We will never know what it is like for someone who had been a hater of Christians to call you a friend. We will never see people beset with tragedy who turned from Christ return to Christ. There is so much that we miss out on because we believe the lies of the enemy more than the love of our God!
Please- stop living in fear. You can't control how others respond to your kindness. You can't control the future. You are not your provider; Daddy is. If we are going to love well, we must first let go of these sorts of assumptions. We are not guaranteed even another minute here on earth, yet we act as though we can prevent our very death. Very often, what passes for responsibility is just fear masquerading as love. We must learn to be led by the Spirit, and the Spirit leads us into the life of love. Please choose to believe your Daddy in heaven has your best interests at heart and has the strength to care for you, and that love is a choice that is always worthwhile. People are dying all around us, if only we weren't so afraid for ourselves that we would help them and each other...
I believe that basically almost all fear, if not fear in its whole entirety, is bad. The God we serve wants and desires that we actually trust him. This trust comes in many forms. We can trust God that he'll provide for our finances. We can trust God with our reputation. We can trust him with the aftermath of misunderstood kindness. God can be trusted. He can be trusted for miracles, if only we'd offer to pray for people. He can be trusted for prophetic words. Daddy, as I call God, longs that we trust him completely. Yet we very often hang out on the sidelines, letting fear keep us out of the game. God wants us in the game! Begin to believe that God is big enough to care for you. Currently, I know someone who Daddy revealed to me has basically stripped themselves of a piece of their identity, for the purpose of reaching the lost. By doing so, this person has largely alienated themselves from the Christian community. I only know about it by divine revelation- and I could be wrong- but I'm fairly certain I'm correct in this conclusion. The purpose of this, is to reach people who could not be reached any other way. I'm telling you now this is what love is. Love sacrifices. Love trusts. Love is not self seeking or keeps record of wrongs. In the church, we talk about love, but love was never meant to live in theory. It must be practiced. True love very often involves taking risks. Sometimes those risks blow up in our faces. Nevertheless, without living out the gospel, we will never truly see what Daddy is really like. We will never know what it is like for someone who had been a hater of Christians to call you a friend. We will never see people beset with tragedy who turned from Christ return to Christ. There is so much that we miss out on because we believe the lies of the enemy more than the love of our God!
Please- stop living in fear. You can't control how others respond to your kindness. You can't control the future. You are not your provider; Daddy is. If we are going to love well, we must first let go of these sorts of assumptions. We are not guaranteed even another minute here on earth, yet we act as though we can prevent our very death. Very often, what passes for responsibility is just fear masquerading as love. We must learn to be led by the Spirit, and the Spirit leads us into the life of love. Please choose to believe your Daddy in heaven has your best interests at heart and has the strength to care for you, and that love is a choice that is always worthwhile. People are dying all around us, if only we weren't so afraid for ourselves that we would help them and each other...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Do Not Let Your Left Hand Know What Your Right Hand Is Doing
I want to talk about something that I'm learning right now, something that for me is intensely difficult. I want speak of letting go completely of one's reputation.
As I'm writing this, I'm discovering the desire to explain one's actions or to be too forthright in an explanation can give everything away. Even as I'm writing this, I can think of examples I want to use that would make myself look cool, and I know I can't use them because people I know will read this, and I have my heart set on nobody knowing. What ministry I'm doing is rarely anyone's business but my own. How long I spent interceding for others last night is no one's business but God's. The desire to explain my actions knaws at me at times, because I deeply desire not to be misunderstood. Even my friends at times misunderstand my actions, because they don't know my heart. This is the ruthless test of my soul- am I okay being misunderstood? Am I okay if people don't get it? If I show the extent of my love, and people assume evil motives, do I have the internal strength to trust God to defend me, and let him take care of it? This need to be understood comes from the devil, because deep down we're afraid (or at least I'm afraid...) that we must protect ourselves from others' misconceptions. For me, this all compounded by the fact that I am mentally wired such that I don't think like everyone else, which gets me into trouble more often than not. Regardless, though, I'm determined to let go of my need to defend my actions, because I know that this is not the kingdom way.
I hope that the reader takes to heart not only this idea that Daddy will in the end take care of you, but also in the end, vindicate you. My prayer for my audience is that we would all learn how to ruthlessly trust Daddy, as he has promised to always care for us. After all, the great reward for surrendering our reputation is treasure in heaven, which is the only treasure truly worthwhile!
As I'm writing this, I'm discovering the desire to explain one's actions or to be too forthright in an explanation can give everything away. Even as I'm writing this, I can think of examples I want to use that would make myself look cool, and I know I can't use them because people I know will read this, and I have my heart set on nobody knowing. What ministry I'm doing is rarely anyone's business but my own. How long I spent interceding for others last night is no one's business but God's. The desire to explain my actions knaws at me at times, because I deeply desire not to be misunderstood. Even my friends at times misunderstand my actions, because they don't know my heart. This is the ruthless test of my soul- am I okay being misunderstood? Am I okay if people don't get it? If I show the extent of my love, and people assume evil motives, do I have the internal strength to trust God to defend me, and let him take care of it? This need to be understood comes from the devil, because deep down we're afraid (or at least I'm afraid...) that we must protect ourselves from others' misconceptions. For me, this all compounded by the fact that I am mentally wired such that I don't think like everyone else, which gets me into trouble more often than not. Regardless, though, I'm determined to let go of my need to defend my actions, because I know that this is not the kingdom way.
I hope that the reader takes to heart not only this idea that Daddy will in the end take care of you, but also in the end, vindicate you. My prayer for my audience is that we would all learn how to ruthlessly trust Daddy, as he has promised to always care for us. After all, the great reward for surrendering our reputation is treasure in heaven, which is the only treasure truly worthwhile!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Lobbying and Legislative Efforts
To some degree, this is a continuation of the previous post, but I think it deserves a post of its own. Somehow, the church has exchanged its role as prophet for attempting to use political power to legislate changes that only love can accomplish.
Honestly I'm fit to be tied about this. Where does the church get off judging the world for sin where there is no tangible signs of love? You who vote pro-life, do you love teenage girls? You who hate drug abuse, do you love drug addicts? You who hate gay marraige, do you love homosexuals? What on earth is going on here? How did we get this way? Where is the love?
I'm sorry, but this personally offends me. The church, when seen as a legislative force instead of a grace force, comes off as a bunch of control freaks, trying to impose their own morality on others instead of a force of lovingkindness, showing the nature of God for what it is. How did we get this way? How did we buy into the lie that the will of God was to be accomplished primarily through political means? I don't know how this happened, but I pray that you, the reader, would choose love. Choose to care about people more than just trying to control them. Ultimately, only the love of Christ can affect the change in our society that needs to happen. The world needs to see that we love them, and that ultimately the only way that the changes we see that need to happen are going to happen. They know we are Christians by our love, not by our lobbying efforts.
Honestly I'm fit to be tied about this. Where does the church get off judging the world for sin where there is no tangible signs of love? You who vote pro-life, do you love teenage girls? You who hate drug abuse, do you love drug addicts? You who hate gay marraige, do you love homosexuals? What on earth is going on here? How did we get this way? Where is the love?
I'm sorry, but this personally offends me. The church, when seen as a legislative force instead of a grace force, comes off as a bunch of control freaks, trying to impose their own morality on others instead of a force of lovingkindness, showing the nature of God for what it is. How did we get this way? How did we buy into the lie that the will of God was to be accomplished primarily through political means? I don't know how this happened, but I pray that you, the reader, would choose love. Choose to care about people more than just trying to control them. Ultimately, only the love of Christ can affect the change in our society that needs to happen. The world needs to see that we love them, and that ultimately the only way that the changes we see that need to happen are going to happen. They know we are Christians by our love, not by our lobbying efforts.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Land of Responsibility Versus a Culture of Victimhood
I see a great tragedy taking place within the faith today. In essence, the church is coming to believe a great lie of the enemy, that somehow outside circumstances and other's decisions are the problem, both on a personal and on a corporate level. Let me explain what I mean.
Let us say that you have problem with how you use the Internet. Say you use the Internet for sexual uses that falls outside of what God asks of us. Some say the problem is that the Internet is unfiltered or unregulated like television is regulated. This thinking states that we are sexual creatures who just can't help ourselves. This is wrong! As believers, we are called to a place of supernatural strength, such that we love God to the point of honoring him in all our ways. How is it then that the Internet is responsible for your sin? No, the Internet reveals what is in your heart. I understand that software like Covenant Eyes is a good idea, and for a season it may be the best starting point for rebuilding the walls between us and sin. Nevertheless, God never intended that we would let software assume the responsibility for us living right before God! Who you are when you are alone on the Internet with no one monitoring or filtering your behavior and no apparent immediate consequences for your decisions is who you really are and where you are really at. Blaming the Internet or the government or anyone else for your choice to engage in behaviors that fall outside of your faith is just a scapegoat.
On a larger scale, much of what is called the Religious Right has convinced us that laws are what are needed to keep the country from sin, such as abortion. Never has a more victim-oriented claim ever been made! If anything, it is the role of the church to love this country, to meet the needs of expectant mothers so that abortion isn't the apparent best option. If we take responsibility for this issue by ministering to the poor and oppressed, reaching out to families and helping to mentor the world in a way that reveals what love looks like, no abortion law would ever be needed. You cannot regulate or law-enforce the human heart in a way that works. We are not victims of the Supreme Court or Hollywood. The problems we see in the culture are evidence that we have stopped being salt and light, deciding instead to be victims, blaming others for our own issues. If we as the body of Christ would step up and love the people of the world the way Christ did, many of the issues that concern the church would go away for good or become substantially less significant.
In short, God has asked that we would be his bride. There may be seasons where we must distance ourselves to some degree from the temptations we face, but this should not replace us deciding to grow into the maturity that God demands of us. We must not blame the culture or the devil for our decisions- what we choose is the barometer of where we are at, and although there may be bondage that needs repentance and deliverance from, that is no excuse for sinning where you are now. The first step is acknowledging that both corporately and individually, we as God's bride are responsible for what is wrong in ourselves and in the world. Don't blame the world for sin- the world is a mirror of how well the church is salt and light. Let us pursue God with abandon and not excuse our sin but be liberated from it!
Let us say that you have problem with how you use the Internet. Say you use the Internet for sexual uses that falls outside of what God asks of us. Some say the problem is that the Internet is unfiltered or unregulated like television is regulated. This thinking states that we are sexual creatures who just can't help ourselves. This is wrong! As believers, we are called to a place of supernatural strength, such that we love God to the point of honoring him in all our ways. How is it then that the Internet is responsible for your sin? No, the Internet reveals what is in your heart. I understand that software like Covenant Eyes is a good idea, and for a season it may be the best starting point for rebuilding the walls between us and sin. Nevertheless, God never intended that we would let software assume the responsibility for us living right before God! Who you are when you are alone on the Internet with no one monitoring or filtering your behavior and no apparent immediate consequences for your decisions is who you really are and where you are really at. Blaming the Internet or the government or anyone else for your choice to engage in behaviors that fall outside of your faith is just a scapegoat.
On a larger scale, much of what is called the Religious Right has convinced us that laws are what are needed to keep the country from sin, such as abortion. Never has a more victim-oriented claim ever been made! If anything, it is the role of the church to love this country, to meet the needs of expectant mothers so that abortion isn't the apparent best option. If we take responsibility for this issue by ministering to the poor and oppressed, reaching out to families and helping to mentor the world in a way that reveals what love looks like, no abortion law would ever be needed. You cannot regulate or law-enforce the human heart in a way that works. We are not victims of the Supreme Court or Hollywood. The problems we see in the culture are evidence that we have stopped being salt and light, deciding instead to be victims, blaming others for our own issues. If we as the body of Christ would step up and love the people of the world the way Christ did, many of the issues that concern the church would go away for good or become substantially less significant.
In short, God has asked that we would be his bride. There may be seasons where we must distance ourselves to some degree from the temptations we face, but this should not replace us deciding to grow into the maturity that God demands of us. We must not blame the culture or the devil for our decisions- what we choose is the barometer of where we are at, and although there may be bondage that needs repentance and deliverance from, that is no excuse for sinning where you are now. The first step is acknowledging that both corporately and individually, we as God's bride are responsible for what is wrong in ourselves and in the world. Don't blame the world for sin- the world is a mirror of how well the church is salt and light. Let us pursue God with abandon and not excuse our sin but be liberated from it!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
The Question That Demands An Answer
There is a question that haunts humanity. It is a question that has been asked for centuries. It is the question the Prechristians in your life want an answer to. And the truth is, every decision you make, every word you say, every step you take, is an answer to this question. What is the question, you ask? Who is God, and what is God like. There is a corallary question also- is God good?
Yes, my friend, every act you do and everything you say testifies something about the nature of God. What does your life say about the nature of God? Is your life testifying that God is good? If your life doesn't testify about God's goodness, why do you believe that is? My conviction is that your experiences with God, how you think about how God has acted towards you, is going to directly translate into the life you lead. If there are struggles in your life that seem to be holding you down, you should ask the question if you really truly believe that God has your best interests at heart. That is what sin conveys to the world- sin conveys to the world that we do not believe that God has our best interests at heart. We sin because deep down we do not believe that God loves us and cares for us. I am here to tell you that God is good. The rumors of God's goodness, of his joy, that his love covers us and that he always has our best interests at heart, are true. I can say without blushing that God has been watching over me for my whole life. Yes, my life has been tough. There are seasons I've had of extreme difficulty, and I have my regrets. Nevertheless, I can look back on the past and see how God has been good to me, and how God has used the bad to form his goodness in me. I also know that I've heard God (or Daddy as I like to call him) speak to me so tenderly. The God I know and love has been especially tender to me. He is so patient with me; he is so full of joy. I've never known someone who loves so unconditionally.
You are invited today to partake in God's goodness. You are invited today to believe what some think is unbelievable- that God is joyous, gracious, and forgiving. That God is someone you would want to spend time with is unfathamable to the unbelieving heart, but my hope is it is not impossible for you to think. You are invited today to a life filled with joy and sorrow, a life of difficulty and fullness. No, what God asks of us at times is difficult, but God makes it easy with his love. For his yoke is easy and his burden is light, so shall be our relationship with God if we truly let God in. I'm telling you God is good and worth getting to know. He is asking that you would let him come close to you, that you may receive his love in a new way. Won't you let him come close?
Yes, my friend, every act you do and everything you say testifies something about the nature of God. What does your life say about the nature of God? Is your life testifying that God is good? If your life doesn't testify about God's goodness, why do you believe that is? My conviction is that your experiences with God, how you think about how God has acted towards you, is going to directly translate into the life you lead. If there are struggles in your life that seem to be holding you down, you should ask the question if you really truly believe that God has your best interests at heart. That is what sin conveys to the world- sin conveys to the world that we do not believe that God has our best interests at heart. We sin because deep down we do not believe that God loves us and cares for us. I am here to tell you that God is good. The rumors of God's goodness, of his joy, that his love covers us and that he always has our best interests at heart, are true. I can say without blushing that God has been watching over me for my whole life. Yes, my life has been tough. There are seasons I've had of extreme difficulty, and I have my regrets. Nevertheless, I can look back on the past and see how God has been good to me, and how God has used the bad to form his goodness in me. I also know that I've heard God (or Daddy as I like to call him) speak to me so tenderly. The God I know and love has been especially tender to me. He is so patient with me; he is so full of joy. I've never known someone who loves so unconditionally.
You are invited today to partake in God's goodness. You are invited today to believe what some think is unbelievable- that God is joyous, gracious, and forgiving. That God is someone you would want to spend time with is unfathamable to the unbelieving heart, but my hope is it is not impossible for you to think. You are invited today to a life filled with joy and sorrow, a life of difficulty and fullness. No, what God asks of us at times is difficult, but God makes it easy with his love. For his yoke is easy and his burden is light, so shall be our relationship with God if we truly let God in. I'm telling you God is good and worth getting to know. He is asking that you would let him come close to you, that you may receive his love in a new way. Won't you let him come close?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Developing A Vision For Your Life
Hi!
In our relationship with God, the truth is that God has a plan for you and me. While you may know that, do you have any idea what it is or how you are going to follow it? I think there is a dirth in the church as far as personal vision. We aren't believing anything about who we are called to be, which hinders our growth and keeps us from following God's plan for our lives. I am of the opinion everyone needs a significant vision for their life, which makes following God's plan possible. Everyone needs a vision they can call their own, and this entry is about developing a vision that is connected to the destiny that God has for your life.
The first step in this process is to be spending time with the source of the vision, God. Without being in his presense on a daily basis, any vision you might come up with is likely to be more your vision than God's. You need God's picture of who you are going to be, not something you entirely cooked up yourself, and spending time with God will help bring clarity about what is from God and what isn't.
The second step is to do a thorough evaluation of where you are at, and what God is working on in your life right now. Examples of what God might be teaching you is how to manage your finances, how to build meaningful friendships, learning to hear God's voice better, etc. Knowing what God is working on in your life is critical to getting a glimpse of what God is doing.
The third step is to envision what your life might look like when you have grown in the area that God is grooming you in to the point where it is fruitful. What would your life look like? What would success in this area mean? Would it mean you could give more, financially or otherwise? Would it mean a shift in priorities, such as an increase in time spent in ministry? By seeing what the end result is, you can get a picture of what God is trying to accomplish, thus giving you some vision as to what you are called to.
By iterating through steps one, two, and three you will begin to see a picture. Who is that person you are seeing? What are his or her new priorities? How do they spend their time? Who are their friends? You see, that is what vision is- it is seeing who you are becoming. By developing this vision, you can cultivate in yourself now the willingness to do what it takes to become this person. Most of the real work will be done in your time with God and in the promises you make to yourself that are appropriate for where you are and are promises you can reasonably expect to keep. Keeping the promises should come from the love of yourself you've cultivated in your time with God. As you follow the vision you have, you should keep updating your vision. As you are moving forward, God will give you new pieces of what he is doing and where you are going.
The important thing in this is to keep drawing near to God. Without a certain degree of intimacy with the Father, this process I've described above can easily turn into works, and you must consistently fight for living in relationship with God and not living for the vision or living to try and impress God. My hope is that finding this vision for your life will help you see that God has a calling on your life, and it is a calling that will give meaning and purpose, one that will lead you to experiencing the fullness of relationship with God. Trust me, God has saved the best for this season and the seasons to come- if you will trust him and draw near, I think you will like who you are going to be and discover that life with God is way better than anything you had planned for yourself. Now go out there and develop that vision, and seize God's best for your life!
In our relationship with God, the truth is that God has a plan for you and me. While you may know that, do you have any idea what it is or how you are going to follow it? I think there is a dirth in the church as far as personal vision. We aren't believing anything about who we are called to be, which hinders our growth and keeps us from following God's plan for our lives. I am of the opinion everyone needs a significant vision for their life, which makes following God's plan possible. Everyone needs a vision they can call their own, and this entry is about developing a vision that is connected to the destiny that God has for your life.
The first step in this process is to be spending time with the source of the vision, God. Without being in his presense on a daily basis, any vision you might come up with is likely to be more your vision than God's. You need God's picture of who you are going to be, not something you entirely cooked up yourself, and spending time with God will help bring clarity about what is from God and what isn't.
The second step is to do a thorough evaluation of where you are at, and what God is working on in your life right now. Examples of what God might be teaching you is how to manage your finances, how to build meaningful friendships, learning to hear God's voice better, etc. Knowing what God is working on in your life is critical to getting a glimpse of what God is doing.
The third step is to envision what your life might look like when you have grown in the area that God is grooming you in to the point where it is fruitful. What would your life look like? What would success in this area mean? Would it mean you could give more, financially or otherwise? Would it mean a shift in priorities, such as an increase in time spent in ministry? By seeing what the end result is, you can get a picture of what God is trying to accomplish, thus giving you some vision as to what you are called to.
By iterating through steps one, two, and three you will begin to see a picture. Who is that person you are seeing? What are his or her new priorities? How do they spend their time? Who are their friends? You see, that is what vision is- it is seeing who you are becoming. By developing this vision, you can cultivate in yourself now the willingness to do what it takes to become this person. Most of the real work will be done in your time with God and in the promises you make to yourself that are appropriate for where you are and are promises you can reasonably expect to keep. Keeping the promises should come from the love of yourself you've cultivated in your time with God. As you follow the vision you have, you should keep updating your vision. As you are moving forward, God will give you new pieces of what he is doing and where you are going.
The important thing in this is to keep drawing near to God. Without a certain degree of intimacy with the Father, this process I've described above can easily turn into works, and you must consistently fight for living in relationship with God and not living for the vision or living to try and impress God. My hope is that finding this vision for your life will help you see that God has a calling on your life, and it is a calling that will give meaning and purpose, one that will lead you to experiencing the fullness of relationship with God. Trust me, God has saved the best for this season and the seasons to come- if you will trust him and draw near, I think you will like who you are going to be and discover that life with God is way better than anything you had planned for yourself. Now go out there and develop that vision, and seize God's best for your life!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
If You Have A Problem, God Has A Plan
Hello!
I realize that in some sense the topic for this entry is pretty obvious. However, I find that this is not how I respond to problems; I tend to try to solve them on my own, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. I promise there will be some meat to this particular post, so hang on!
The truth is, we get awed by the size of the problems we come into more than we pray about them. The natural response to a problem is to find a solution that we can think up. Honestly, our own thoughts will tend to think of the obvious solutions rather than the best or correct solution, and then we get annoyed about the drawbacks to our proposed solution and never act. Sometimes the delays between when we recognize the problem and when we bring it before God can cause damage, so the important thing about this particular epiphany is that you realize that not only does God in general have plans for any general problem, but also that God has a specific plan for this particular problem, and it is up to us to seek God to find what that specific plan is. In doing this, you must realize that he may not give you all the details about how everything is going to work out. Let me give an example- let's say that you hate your job. I mean, you really, really need to find a new job, and soon. Let's say you listen to me and decide to seek God about this specific problem, say by fasting and prayer. You may spend some time thinking about it too; I'm not against thinking about it as part of solving the problem, so long as it isn't the only thing you are doing- often times the praying part will set you up so that when you think about it, it will come to you. What God might give you as far as what to do, may not be exactly what you hope for. He might tell you to move somewhere else. You may not even have a job lined up before you get there, but of course that is what living by faith means- we usually have to trust God with some parts, though which parts are probably dependent on where you are at with God and your faith level. At this point, you have part of the solution. You then need to continue seeking God and possibly also talk to other Godly people about the solution you've come up with. This is all part of living in relationship with God- you have problem, you seek God, God gives you enough of the solution to move on, you move on what you know (after getting confirmation from other Godly people for more significant decisions), and then the cycle starts all over again. This is the life of faith. People who follow through this cycle multiple times get to a place where they have a deep relationship with God.
My hope for you is that you would not be dismayed by whatever problems are in your life. I promise you, if God has allowed a problem to come your way, there is always a solution to deal with it. We may not be enamored with the solution God comes up with, and it may scare us some, but I promise you, if you follow God on the solution, everything will work out. You just have to trust God on this- God is in control, and if you believe in a sovereign God like I do you know that ultimately the outcome is in His hands, and will be for the best. May your faith grow in leaps and bounds as you seek God more and more for the solutions you need for the problems that you are currently facing.
I realize that in some sense the topic for this entry is pretty obvious. However, I find that this is not how I respond to problems; I tend to try to solve them on my own, and I'm guessing I'm not the only one. I promise there will be some meat to this particular post, so hang on!
The truth is, we get awed by the size of the problems we come into more than we pray about them. The natural response to a problem is to find a solution that we can think up. Honestly, our own thoughts will tend to think of the obvious solutions rather than the best or correct solution, and then we get annoyed about the drawbacks to our proposed solution and never act. Sometimes the delays between when we recognize the problem and when we bring it before God can cause damage, so the important thing about this particular epiphany is that you realize that not only does God in general have plans for any general problem, but also that God has a specific plan for this particular problem, and it is up to us to seek God to find what that specific plan is. In doing this, you must realize that he may not give you all the details about how everything is going to work out. Let me give an example- let's say that you hate your job. I mean, you really, really need to find a new job, and soon. Let's say you listen to me and decide to seek God about this specific problem, say by fasting and prayer. You may spend some time thinking about it too; I'm not against thinking about it as part of solving the problem, so long as it isn't the only thing you are doing- often times the praying part will set you up so that when you think about it, it will come to you. What God might give you as far as what to do, may not be exactly what you hope for. He might tell you to move somewhere else. You may not even have a job lined up before you get there, but of course that is what living by faith means- we usually have to trust God with some parts, though which parts are probably dependent on where you are at with God and your faith level. At this point, you have part of the solution. You then need to continue seeking God and possibly also talk to other Godly people about the solution you've come up with. This is all part of living in relationship with God- you have problem, you seek God, God gives you enough of the solution to move on, you move on what you know (after getting confirmation from other Godly people for more significant decisions), and then the cycle starts all over again. This is the life of faith. People who follow through this cycle multiple times get to a place where they have a deep relationship with God.
My hope for you is that you would not be dismayed by whatever problems are in your life. I promise you, if God has allowed a problem to come your way, there is always a solution to deal with it. We may not be enamored with the solution God comes up with, and it may scare us some, but I promise you, if you follow God on the solution, everything will work out. You just have to trust God on this- God is in control, and if you believe in a sovereign God like I do you know that ultimately the outcome is in His hands, and will be for the best. May your faith grow in leaps and bounds as you seek God more and more for the solutions you need for the problems that you are currently facing.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Interdependence
It has been a long time since I have written, but here today I have something good for you who took a shot at seeing what I have written lately. Thanks for stopping in!
I will be honest with you, what I am writing about today I am not an expert at. I am writing about it because I am learning about it, and because I don't think the teachings in Christianity generally give it justice. I think this particular subject could help a lot of people, so here goes....
I think much of what passes for church these days is a far cry from what we were really called to. Christianity is supposed to be about helping one another, and yet we seem to suffer alone more than reach out for help. The truth is plain to me- we need each other. We need to be vulnerable to each other and to God. We need to bond with others in order to survive. Truth is, as human beings we all have pain, although in varying amounts. We all need encouragement. We all need to know that we aren't alone in this struggle that we call life. Without each other, we are doomed to isolation and victims of illusions. Without learning to depend on others and on God, and also allowing ourselves to be depended on by others, we are trapped with little hope of escaping. We were meant to have meaningful interactions and conversations with God and others on a daily basis. Please- I plead with you- allow yourself to be vulnerable with a friend. Next time you feel lousy, instead of reaching for the remote, or the internet, or sex, or whatever your drug of choice is, reach out to God and to others for meeting your needs. Pray, and seek his face. Listen, and see what God is saying. Let someone share your burden. They say no man is an island, so why do we live like we are?
I think the best is yet to come for you. Don't give up on meaningful human and divine interaction. I believe the best for your life is yet to come, but we can't make it alone...
I will be honest with you, what I am writing about today I am not an expert at. I am writing about it because I am learning about it, and because I don't think the teachings in Christianity generally give it justice. I think this particular subject could help a lot of people, so here goes....
I think much of what passes for church these days is a far cry from what we were really called to. Christianity is supposed to be about helping one another, and yet we seem to suffer alone more than reach out for help. The truth is plain to me- we need each other. We need to be vulnerable to each other and to God. We need to bond with others in order to survive. Truth is, as human beings we all have pain, although in varying amounts. We all need encouragement. We all need to know that we aren't alone in this struggle that we call life. Without each other, we are doomed to isolation and victims of illusions. Without learning to depend on others and on God, and also allowing ourselves to be depended on by others, we are trapped with little hope of escaping. We were meant to have meaningful interactions and conversations with God and others on a daily basis. Please- I plead with you- allow yourself to be vulnerable with a friend. Next time you feel lousy, instead of reaching for the remote, or the internet, or sex, or whatever your drug of choice is, reach out to God and to others for meeting your needs. Pray, and seek his face. Listen, and see what God is saying. Let someone share your burden. They say no man is an island, so why do we live like we are?
I think the best is yet to come for you. Don't give up on meaningful human and divine interaction. I believe the best for your life is yet to come, but we can't make it alone...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Practical Christianity
I am sitting here, having realized how long it is since I have written, and... I feel the need to write. Honestly I don't know where this is going, so bear with me.
It dawns on me that Christianity is often seen in some theoretical light. Often times one of the casualties is the understanding of what life with God is supposed to be about. This is unfortunate.
What I mean is, we don't understand how God walks with us through are difficulties and quirks with the idea in mind that we might get to know him. This is the point. Our reportcard doesn't say how many lives came to Christ through us, or how sin-free we became, or how much money we gave away. What matters is how well you know the Father, and even more importantly than that, how well the Father knows you. This is the truest barometer of where we stand with God. Anything else is fluff, and largely irrelevant, outside of how much it draws us closer to God or pushes us away from him. This is what relationship with God is all about.
My prayer for you is that you will see that this is the real point of Christianity. We are meant to be utterly candid and transparent before God, we are meant to cease being a human doing and let Christ work through us as a human being. This, my readers, is what God wants most from us, that we cease trying to impress him and get to know him instead.
It dawns on me that Christianity is often seen in some theoretical light. Often times one of the casualties is the understanding of what life with God is supposed to be about. This is unfortunate.
What I mean is, we don't understand how God walks with us through are difficulties and quirks with the idea in mind that we might get to know him. This is the point. Our reportcard doesn't say how many lives came to Christ through us, or how sin-free we became, or how much money we gave away. What matters is how well you know the Father, and even more importantly than that, how well the Father knows you. This is the truest barometer of where we stand with God. Anything else is fluff, and largely irrelevant, outside of how much it draws us closer to God or pushes us away from him. This is what relationship with God is all about.
My prayer for you is that you will see that this is the real point of Christianity. We are meant to be utterly candid and transparent before God, we are meant to cease being a human doing and let Christ work through us as a human being. This, my readers, is what God wants most from us, that we cease trying to impress him and get to know him instead.
Monday, October 23, 2006
How We Judge People
I am sure most of my readers have seen the first three Star Wars movies that were made. In those movies Darth Vader was the villain. We tended to loath him, thinking him inhuman- some kind of evil robot or something.
The question I would pose to you- given the prequels, how do you see him now? And how differently would you look at him, if you had known his history when you first watched him?
True, he did a few very nasty things in the third prequel. No doubt he is still a villain. And yet, I think it changes the way we look at him when we realize that he too was once a kid. He was a hero at one point. He was someone else's child. He had, in a sense, a kind of innocence that most kids have. Yet we might never would have thought of that without the prequels.
We should be careful how we look at people. We don't know where they came from or how they got where they are. There are always reasons why people make the decisions they make- even if the reasons aren't necessarily that good, or justification for their actions, they are reasons- and it helps to remember that we have not stepped in their shoes. We don't know how the world looks to them. Grace must be applied liberally, as we all hope to be looked at with the grace-healed eyes of Christ, instead of the judgement of perfection. My hope is that we all learn to love those around us that we don't get, remembering that we are hoping Christ will love us as we are and accept us into his kindom inspite of our not living up to the model set by Christ.
In short, we all need grace-healed eyes. Remember to judge people the way you wish to be judged by Christ...
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
The question I would pose to you- given the prequels, how do you see him now? And how differently would you look at him, if you had known his history when you first watched him?
True, he did a few very nasty things in the third prequel. No doubt he is still a villain. And yet, I think it changes the way we look at him when we realize that he too was once a kid. He was a hero at one point. He was someone else's child. He had, in a sense, a kind of innocence that most kids have. Yet we might never would have thought of that without the prequels.
We should be careful how we look at people. We don't know where they came from or how they got where they are. There are always reasons why people make the decisions they make- even if the reasons aren't necessarily that good, or justification for their actions, they are reasons- and it helps to remember that we have not stepped in their shoes. We don't know how the world looks to them. Grace must be applied liberally, as we all hope to be looked at with the grace-healed eyes of Christ, instead of the judgement of perfection. My hope is that we all learn to love those around us that we don't get, remembering that we are hoping Christ will love us as we are and accept us into his kindom inspite of our not living up to the model set by Christ.
In short, we all need grace-healed eyes. Remember to judge people the way you wish to be judged by Christ...
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Assumptions
I just had an epiphany. It came as I realized the reason for why I spent so many hours trying to solve a particular problem here at work. The problem, ultimately, was that I made an assumption that I did not question, leading me to hours of unnecessary work.
Assumptions can be very dangerous. Their danger is in the fact that we rarely realize or question the assumptions we are making, which allow us to hopelessly spin our wheels trying to work our way out of a jam that was created, in part, because of one or more assumptions we made that we didn't question. I would argue that a high percentage of issues that go unresolved for awhile are unresolved because of a bad assumption. The question, then, is: How do we catch these assumptions?
I think catching these assumptions begins with realizing that what you are currently doing is not working. This requires a fair amount of humility, because we all like to think that we know what we are doing and that we can solve our problems by ourselves. We assume that perseverence is the answer, when just maybe it isn't. A good set of questions to ask: "How many times have I tried this particular solution? How successful have I been with it?" That might betray a loyalty to a particular solution that might be faulty. Another assumption: this solution worked for someone else, so it should work for you. Remember- there is often more than one way to solve a problem.
Here are some example assumptions that people make.
"You are the solution."
One case where this assumption gets made is when you assume that Christ is going to use you to lead someone else to God. That may be true. However, often times the best thing we can do is just share our testimony, and pray that God will bring other Christians into that persons life that will minister effectively with them. We may not have the approach that best works for that person, or they may not be ready yet. Either way, we need to hear from God what our role is, and how we can best influence them.
"Our role in the solution is small or nonexistent."
I see this assumption in addictions and in all sorts of temptations. Just so you know what it looks like... picture this: you have a song stuck in your head. Let's assume that this song isn't the best song to be bouncing around inside your noggin. What sometimes happens is that we give up trying to get it out of our head. Now it is possible that this is the best thing that can be done- all you doers out there that think you can solve any problem need to know that you aren't the whole solution. But there is another temptation- to believe that we are stuck and will just have to live with the problem until God does all the work for us. This attitude is completely antithetical to the gospel. Christ came to heal us and change us from the inside out, but also with our cooperation. Now that doesn't mean he will in every situation- we do need to ask God what he is doing in the situation in front of us. Never forget, though, that it was perseverence that was rewarded in the bible, and that rather than just giving up or trying the same solution over and over, that maybe a different solution is the answer.
As you can see, attitude is a big part of the solution. If we think that between our ability to hear from God, seek out counsel from people more developed than ourselves, be introspective enough to find and question the assumptions we are making, and seek for a way out, that God will provide the door. We have to believe that our God loves us and that as long as we have an understanding from him that we are to win this fight, we should press on to victory. Remember- very often the reason we struggle is that we made a faulty assumption that is holding us down, so make time often to step backwards and question the assumptions you are making.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
PS If you email me through the link in "View my complete profile", I will try to send a message to you when I update my blog. It would also be cool to know people are reading it.
Assumptions can be very dangerous. Their danger is in the fact that we rarely realize or question the assumptions we are making, which allow us to hopelessly spin our wheels trying to work our way out of a jam that was created, in part, because of one or more assumptions we made that we didn't question. I would argue that a high percentage of issues that go unresolved for awhile are unresolved because of a bad assumption. The question, then, is: How do we catch these assumptions?
I think catching these assumptions begins with realizing that what you are currently doing is not working. This requires a fair amount of humility, because we all like to think that we know what we are doing and that we can solve our problems by ourselves. We assume that perseverence is the answer, when just maybe it isn't. A good set of questions to ask: "How many times have I tried this particular solution? How successful have I been with it?" That might betray a loyalty to a particular solution that might be faulty. Another assumption: this solution worked for someone else, so it should work for you. Remember- there is often more than one way to solve a problem.
Here are some example assumptions that people make.
"You are the solution."
One case where this assumption gets made is when you assume that Christ is going to use you to lead someone else to God. That may be true. However, often times the best thing we can do is just share our testimony, and pray that God will bring other Christians into that persons life that will minister effectively with them. We may not have the approach that best works for that person, or they may not be ready yet. Either way, we need to hear from God what our role is, and how we can best influence them.
"Our role in the solution is small or nonexistent."
I see this assumption in addictions and in all sorts of temptations. Just so you know what it looks like... picture this: you have a song stuck in your head. Let's assume that this song isn't the best song to be bouncing around inside your noggin. What sometimes happens is that we give up trying to get it out of our head. Now it is possible that this is the best thing that can be done- all you doers out there that think you can solve any problem need to know that you aren't the whole solution. But there is another temptation- to believe that we are stuck and will just have to live with the problem until God does all the work for us. This attitude is completely antithetical to the gospel. Christ came to heal us and change us from the inside out, but also with our cooperation. Now that doesn't mean he will in every situation- we do need to ask God what he is doing in the situation in front of us. Never forget, though, that it was perseverence that was rewarded in the bible, and that rather than just giving up or trying the same solution over and over, that maybe a different solution is the answer.
As you can see, attitude is a big part of the solution. If we think that between our ability to hear from God, seek out counsel from people more developed than ourselves, be introspective enough to find and question the assumptions we are making, and seek for a way out, that God will provide the door. We have to believe that our God loves us and that as long as we have an understanding from him that we are to win this fight, we should press on to victory. Remember- very often the reason we struggle is that we made a faulty assumption that is holding us down, so make time often to step backwards and question the assumptions you are making.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
PS If you email me through the link in "View my complete profile", I will try to send a message to you when I update my blog. It would also be cool to know people are reading it.
Monday, July 17, 2006
God's Timing
Recently I got a picture that relates to God's timing. Hopefully you have seen "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring." There is a scene in it where Gandalf is riding into the Shire on a horse-drawn cart. Frodo runs up and jumps on the cart and tells Gandalf that he's late. Gandalf's response is priceless: "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He always arrives precisely when he means to." This line has enormous spiritual experience, as God is the same way.
Sometimes we think God is late. We desire God not to stretch us in his timing. And yet it is clear from scripture that God often arrives "precisely when he means to". A few passages to consider in this: when Abraham is waiting for the promised child, when Saul is waiting for Samuel to come and make the sacrifice, and the death of Lazarus. In all three cases people expected something to happen sooner than God planned. We expect God to be on our timetable. Yet here we see that God has his own plan and does things when he desires.
My prayer for us is that we would learn to trust God. Difficult circumstances are designed with this in mind, that we would bloom into mature believers that can really trust God in all things. God wants to make us promises, and have us patiently abide in Christ while he prepares to fulfill the promises made. Hopefully we won't create an Ishmael through unbelief. May your faith and trust in God grow in leaps and bounds in this season.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
Sometimes we think God is late. We desire God not to stretch us in his timing. And yet it is clear from scripture that God often arrives "precisely when he means to". A few passages to consider in this: when Abraham is waiting for the promised child, when Saul is waiting for Samuel to come and make the sacrifice, and the death of Lazarus. In all three cases people expected something to happen sooner than God planned. We expect God to be on our timetable. Yet here we see that God has his own plan and does things when he desires.
My prayer for us is that we would learn to trust God. Difficult circumstances are designed with this in mind, that we would bloom into mature believers that can really trust God in all things. God wants to make us promises, and have us patiently abide in Christ while he prepares to fulfill the promises made. Hopefully we won't create an Ishmael through unbelief. May your faith and trust in God grow in leaps and bounds in this season.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Get What You Need From God
Here is a specific challenge that faces all of us, either through difficult circumstances, unstable emotions, or even boredom with its accompanied temptations. That is- getting what we need from God.
I am all for conferences, bible studies, etc. However, I do think there is a genuine temptation to expect to use these to solve whatever current dryness currently exists in our lives. When it comes down to it, we really need to be self sufficient in our ability to come to God when we need him and get whatever need is there met. Too often we think that meetings and conferences are what we need. Were there conferences in the early church? No. And while they did have meetings, I think they were more for sharing with each other what God has done. Ultimately, God is our source and supplier, not other people. Come to God to meet your needs.
There is a weapon that is not well known outside of charismatic circles for repositioning one's self when the need is great. It is called "praying in the spirit" or "praying in tongues". It works as a form of spiritual exercise, enabling you to hear God better and to be spiritually aligned. If you are able to do this, I highly recommend it when life presses down hard. If you don't have this, it is worth pursuing and will change your life. Other tools include crying out to God, meditation, fasting, and other disciplines as mentioned in Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline".
Ultimately, there will be times in our life where there will be great need. My prayer for you the reader is that when trials and tests come you will reach out to God and get your needs met directly from him. People can help, true, and that has its place, but living a disciplined, holy life requires that we are able to get our fix from God when no one is available. It shows real maturity in Christ that we can come to him with our open hands and let him meet our needs.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
I am all for conferences, bible studies, etc. However, I do think there is a genuine temptation to expect to use these to solve whatever current dryness currently exists in our lives. When it comes down to it, we really need to be self sufficient in our ability to come to God when we need him and get whatever need is there met. Too often we think that meetings and conferences are what we need. Were there conferences in the early church? No. And while they did have meetings, I think they were more for sharing with each other what God has done. Ultimately, God is our source and supplier, not other people. Come to God to meet your needs.
There is a weapon that is not well known outside of charismatic circles for repositioning one's self when the need is great. It is called "praying in the spirit" or "praying in tongues". It works as a form of spiritual exercise, enabling you to hear God better and to be spiritually aligned. If you are able to do this, I highly recommend it when life presses down hard. If you don't have this, it is worth pursuing and will change your life. Other tools include crying out to God, meditation, fasting, and other disciplines as mentioned in Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline".
Ultimately, there will be times in our life where there will be great need. My prayer for you the reader is that when trials and tests come you will reach out to God and get your needs met directly from him. People can help, true, and that has its place, but living a disciplined, holy life requires that we are able to get our fix from God when no one is available. It shows real maturity in Christ that we can come to him with our open hands and let him meet our needs.
Your companion in Christ,
Sean
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