Special Olympics

One day, when I was struggling with a sense of failing at life, I had a therapist that said something quite profound, that changes me even today.  He said to think about life like the Special Olympics.

Now... I've never watched the Special Olympics.  But I get the idea of what it is- it's about people who have impediments competing against other people who have impediments to see who can come out on top.  The thing is simple enough.  You know, I don't think anyone who does watch the Special Olympics, who watches the 100 meter dash, yells at the television "But you're not as fast as Usain Bolt!"  

I'll admit, in this post it's me that wants empathy.  I have THREE disabilities- ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder (mild Asperger Syndrome) and Schizo-Effective Disorder.  I don't believe that this is an excuse not to do anything.  At the same time, I do think this means that anyone looking at my life should pause before judging me as not measuring up to whatever standard they think neurotypicals should measure up to.  I'm NOT neurotypical.  What might be a fair standard to everyone else may not be a fair standard to me.  Also, I need to remember this too- I shouldn't judge myself harshly because I don't have my shit quite as well together like other people do.  I believe I'm really trying to make my life work.  I just wish everyone in my life could see that I'm trying and that I'm doing well.  

My hope with this post is that people would learn to judge rightly, or be more reticent about judging what they don't understand.  As I'm trying to say, I don't want to use my disabilities as an excuse not to try to make progress.  I will say this though- I'm ALWAYS making progress.  Today I celebrated my third spring without mania or psychosis.  I've basically come to terms with my mental health issue, and thanks to my most recent hospitalization I have some skills now to help me debug errant thoughts.  I'm in the process of preparing to write a book, and I think I've found a topic I know something about that I will enjoy writing about.  My life is very full, and pretty satisfying.  I'm always trying to take new territory.  I think these are good things and worthy of a modicum of respect.  I know some people who have mental illness don't do anything, or spend all their time playing video games.  I'm not like that.  Maybe that seems like setting the bar too low, but in many ways those people are much closer to being my peers than the neurotypical with the house, the spouse and the career.  I'm not them.  Please remember- I'm doing the best that I can.