Special Olympics

One day, when I was struggling with a sense of failing at life, I had a therapist that said something quite profound, that changes me even today.  He said to think about life like the Special Olympics.

Now... I've never watched the Special Olympics.  But I get the idea of what it is- it's about people who have impediments competing against other people who have impediments to see who can come out on top.  The thing is simple enough.  You know, I don't think anyone who does watch the Special Olympics, who watches the 100 meter dash, yells at the television "But you're not as fast as Usain Bolt!"  

I'll admit, in this post it's me that wants empathy.  I have THREE disabilities- ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder (mild Asperger Syndrome) and Schizo-Effective Disorder.  I don't believe that this is an excuse not to do anything.  At the same time, I do think this means that anyone looking at my life should pause before judging me as not measuring up to whatever standard they think neurotypicals should measure up to.  I'm NOT neurotypical.  What might be a fair standard to everyone else may not be a fair standard to me.  Also, I need to remember this too- I shouldn't judge myself harshly because I don't have my shit quite as well together like other people do.  I believe I'm really trying to make my life work.  I just wish everyone in my life could see that I'm trying and that I'm doing well.  

My hope with this post is that people would learn to judge rightly, or be more reticent about judging what they don't understand.  As I'm trying to say, I don't want to use my disabilities as an excuse not to try to make progress.  I will say this though- I'm ALWAYS making progress.  Today I celebrated my third spring without mania or psychosis.  I've basically come to terms with my mental health issue, and thanks to my most recent hospitalization I have some skills now to help me debug errant thoughts.  I'm in the process of preparing to write a book, and I think I've found a topic I know something about that I will enjoy writing about.  My life is very full, and pretty satisfying.  I'm always trying to take new territory.  I think these are good things and worthy of a modicum of respect.  I know some people who have mental illness don't do anything, or spend all their time playing video games.  I'm not like that.  Maybe that seems like setting the bar too low, but in many ways those people are much closer to being my peers than the neurotypical with the house, the spouse and the career.  I'm not them.  Please remember- I'm doing the best that I can.

Taking Salvation For Granted

Fundamentally, we must understand that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."  This means that, to be wise, one must first fear the Lord.

What does that mean, to fear the Lord?  I believe it means that we're always aware of the precarious state we are in, that we are not given any guarantee that life will go our way or that we will inherit Heaven, simply because we prayed a prayer or some such nonsense.

I'm not saying we need to walk on eggshells.  Just a simple understanding that we can't just do exactly what we want to do all the time and in every situation, because we all know that God is judge and he can do what he likes with us.  We must choose to never presume upon God's kindness.  If we do presume upon God's kindness, it is possible that we can begin to believe that we may do whatever we like without worrying about any kind of repercussions, and this is an unhealthy place to be for any follower of God.

Please don't misunderstand me- I'm not espousing any kind of works-based religion here.  It is the condition of your heart that you must be cognizant of, not the status of your works.  Your heart can be hard or soft, and a hard heart is more dangerous than any sin ever could be.  A hard heart will keep you out of the kingdom of God.  A soft heart is pliable in the hands of God, and it's a heart God can move towards compassion and kindness.  Good deeds wrought from a good, soft heart, without the purpose of personal glory but instead desiring to help and aid one's fellow man is a heart destined for the kingdom of Heaven. 

Always remember that Jesus taught several parables about salvation, and none of the parables did it talk at all about accepting Jesus's death and resurrection as being the basis for getting into Heaven.  Instead, Jesus talked about masters who give talents to servants and then leave, coming back much later to see what they have done with the talent.  Or separating the sheep from the goats- judging people based on how they treated the least of these brothers of mine.  Fundamentally, how we respond to God's invitation to really live as emissaries of the kingdom of Heaven is what will demonstrate on Judgment Day that our hearts were soft and that we cared about what Jesus cared about, and therefore we are fit for Heaven.