Nelson Mandela, and Things I Don't Understand

I just watched Invictus, the movie about Nelson Mandela and what took place in the year or two after he became president of South Africa. There is a point in the movie, where the person Matt Damon played said something very interesting, paraphrased "How could a man spend 30 years in here and come out ready to forgive the people who put him there?" This quote comes close to home for me, for I was in jail 10 days, and hospitalized four months last year.

The truth is, there are things that are hard to understand, unless you've been there. I have a friend, who is in prison right now, and I'm sure he'd say I have no idea what it's like to be imprisoned. I suppose, to a certain extent at least, that he's right. However, for whatever it's worth, I do know what it feels like to be incarcerated for awhile, and that has to help me get some kind of idea what imprisonment might feel like. It's funny... I've been out of the hospital for over twice as long as I was in the hospital, but I'd swear it felt much longer, like the longest stretch of time I've ever experienced. Unless you've been incarcerated against your will for at least a week, you can't really imagine what it's like. All this to say, an amazing miracle occured in President Mandela's heart for him to leave prison with a heart prepared to forgive.

This is where we get to what is incomprehensible to me. For me, I feel like I've been ruined by the hospitalization. Between that, and how entwined my faith was in what happened that lead to me being incarcerated... I really don't know how to move forward. I've stopped caring about things I probably should care about. I've got anger... anger I don't know what to do with. So, how did Nelson Mandela do it? How did he leave prison with a heart of forgiveness? People who don't believe in miracles, I don't know how you can explain something like this outside of the miraculous. This kind of forgiveness, it only comes from above. For me, though, that doesn't help. This kind of heart... I wish my heart was like his. I've left the hospital scarred, and traumatized. He left prison prepared to lead a nation into peace and reconciliation. I envy him. I don't know what his role was, in keeping his heart soft. I just wish I could be more like him.

You know, usually I find a cool way to wrap up an entry such as this. Tonight, I see none but this- when you think of an offense, so serious as to be unforgivable, remember Nelson Mandela, and his heart attitude towards his enemies. If there were resources in heaven capable of making forgiveness possible for him, then there is hope for the rest of us. That... must be a good thing... I just wish I knew better how to access them...